The Audacity of Being Present

I’ve been reading the blogs and emails of some of the women I spend time with.  I’ve been chatting and listening to the direction their lives have taken since our last time together.  There is a theme emerging and I believe it is greatly important to pay attention to it. 

The theme is this:  the audacity of daring to claim our own lives!  The audacity of declaring who we are, who we choose to become and how we choose to move through our world.  The audacity of thinking that we need not seek permission; need not canvass for approval of the majority; and need not wait until we are hoisted up into our lives by the surge of living of another. 

Audacity.  The audacity of presupposing that negotiation is no longer required.  The audacity of believing… thinking… knowing!… that we not only have the right but simply proceed as if we have already claimed that right to live lives of our own design.  How dare we….. 

Audacity.  The audacity to no longer be who we once were.  The audacity to have moved away from the one everyone else was so comfortable with… the one that was so easy to get along with because we went along with.  The audacity to have changed our mind, changed our way of speaking and changed where we drew the line in the sand. 

Audacity.  The audacity to laugh out loud – even at our own jokes!  The audacity to simply love out loud, when we do; to say what is meaningful, no matter what others think we should be saying given the location, time of day or presence/absence of some ‘authority’.  The audacity to consider that we need not first ask “What are the rules?” but simply proceed in the creation of our own.  The audacity to make it up as we go along. 

Laughing out loud!  Loving out loud!  Being heard and being seen!  Taking without asking.  Declaring without consulting and  negotiating.  ’Being’ without seeking permission for it to be so.  

How dare we?  I, for one, am up for that! And more and more, I find myself in the amazing company of other women who are daring for themselves.  Smart, funny women.  Courageous and curious women. Women of intelligence in all ways.  Women who love deeply and are choosing to love themselves with equal force.  Women who are unwilling to go quietly into the night and live someone else’s life because someone told them they should.  

I know that I am in the best of company. 

Breathing is good….

Sorting out Shadows

More pieces are coming into my awareness. 

Yesterday, I had time with a wonderful woman whose company lights up my day!  Lisa dropped by the office because of a technical problem with CD’s… only to discover once she got there, there were no problems.  AND we had a great conversation!  I feel compelled to acknowledge that our messages come in the strangest of bottles…

We talked about many things and as we did, I heard myself speak of organizational systems as reflections of the people who create them; that these so-called ’systems’ do not exist but are the shadow that we focus all of our attention on, forgetting to pay attention to the matter and energy that allows the shadow to exist.  Change the matter; change the energy and the shadow acts accordingly.

Today, in chatting with Sheila about her upcoming Decloaking and Living Authentically experience in a couple of weeks, I heard myself say that for me, these are not programs or intensives or even experiences.  They are reflections (or shadows) of my intention to create shared universes.  

Two different expressions of shadows – and both shadows, nonetheless.  As the Hawaiians would say:  Same, but different.

Recently, one of my clients was diagnosed with cancer.  We’ve been spending time in conversation about that, slowly coming to recognize that the cancer is not ‘real’; that it is a reflection of the energy/information that is in flow (Signals 1, 2 an 3) in the body, ultimately presenting as Signal 4 (the expression in physical matter as a byproduct or reflection of what moves through it).  For many, that’s a difficult place to stand in the face of such (for most) a frightening manifestation.  

Disease – whatever it is : cancer, diabetes, Chrone’s, anxiety, fibromyalgia, etc – is the shadow that lets us know the dance of energy and matter that is being created.  In our fear and our misunderstanding; and in our efforts to get rid of what presents, we seek desperately to engage what we are looking at (as opposed to what we can see, if we are willing to look elsewhere!).  In that, we seek to act on the shadow. 

Acting on the shadow will not give us what we want.  Internal and external; physical and emotional health and well-being.  And yet, we have been trained to focus our attention on the shadow because it is easier for us to detect.  Our eyes have been trained to see one shape (shadow) and not another (energy moving in matter).  It is not that we are not able to see – it is that we are not looking in a direction that will make what we’re looking at, meaningful in any way. 

In my desire to create shared universes, I have also chosen to leave some of those shared by many, which are no longer meaningful to me.  The world of shadows is not a bad world; nor is it a world that I hold as offensive or to be shunned.  It is for me, however, one that speaks only of what was, with the shadow always an afterthought of what has gone before it.  Personally, I choose to stand in a different place and cast no shadow.  

Imagine a world of health and healing (of body, mind and spirit) where we recognize that the underlying context that will transform our well-being is one that declares : human beings are self-healing and self-directing with regard to wellness.  Our so-called ‘dis-eases’ or ‘illnesses’ are messages from our internal world (our world of internal references) that invite us to grow and expand and become.  As a living expression of the godforce that I am; and as an organic being, I either grow or die.  Growth demands that I discover, acknowledge and engage the internal cues that drive my evolution.  The alternative is to live in the land of shadows. 

The organizational system… the religious system… the family system – all are shadows that reflect the energy that sources them.  Each of these (including the individual systems within each of them) are equally shadows or reflections of the energy that sources them.  We already have the science that demonstrates to us that the body is a quantum biological processor.  What we now require is the science that helps us to understand the dance of the signals flowing through it.  It is the dance of the signals that shapes the shadow we so dearly love to invest ourselves in! 

Breathing is good….

Hints of things to come

I’m in the middle of a retreat or program experience, and I find myself observing myself saying something.  A small voice inside me (somewhere) says:  ”Pay attention to that – that’s important. ”  And in the blink of an eye, it’s gone.  

Hours will go by, possibly even days, and it happens again.  I’m saying something and notice a sentence or a new word in use, and that same voice says: “Pay attention to that – that’s important.”  Were I to visualize it, it would look like those computer scans that isolate two or three separate words, making them distinct from the hundreds of other words that surround them.  Or that Air Canada video, that shows everything in shades of grey except the item being featured, which appears in banana yellow!  Tough to miss that seat belt… 

It is as if I am on a scavenger hunt… or a treasure hunt… with cues and clues showing up in the people I spend time with, the conversations I engage and the thoughts within those conversations that stand out as significant in some way.  Each a piece of a larger puzzle, without any sense of what the whole represents!  

The 20-CD set for Decloaking is finally done.  As I listened to edit, I was aware of those moments when a new thought had presented.  Although it fit easily and appropriately into that sentence, in that moment, I also knew instinctively that it meant something else…. something much larger and more expansive.  Like the difference between speaking of a doorway from one room into another, and speaking of a doorway from one expression of consciousness into another.  The same word to represent vastly different potentials!  Same doorway, but different. 

The women coming into my life are increasing in their willingness and ability to engage more and more of themselves.  And, beyond that, they are arriving with men in their lives who are willing to do what it takes to stay connected with and to these women, including step into their own evolution.  I have always felt that the impact of this material for men would be in its presence through the women they love, and who love them back. 

More and more are popping up…. women gathering in small groups, talking… about the things in their lives that are meaningful.  Creating meaningful lives.  Engaging in meaningful ways of moving through their day.  These women are becoming open, clear, honest and direct.  They are seeking to be in each other’s company as they continue to move through their lives, knowing that doing so will contribute to their staying awake!  

More women are writing.  It is fine to read the words of others.  It is transformational to write those that come from somewhere deep inside yourself.  Their words are appearing in blog comments, in the creation of blogs of their own; in email exchanges to small groups… but they are out of the closet on the truth of their own experience and are trusting that in doing so, they will be just fine! 

My attention span is minimal for anything that is not carving out a new path in some way.  I’m not even quite sure how to explain that – it is more an awareness of a vibration in my own body.  As I step into conversations with others that are greatly challenging or difficult for them, I move into a place of great stillness and quiet… and feel that I am home.  I wonder…what is that???? 

I’ve written in other places (Women Gathering blog) of my experiences in these small groups of women gathering, talking… and I continue to be mindful that my own accelerated evolution is profoundly connected to the willingness and ability of women to engage as part of the contagion of this awakened collective.  As each one becomes more strongly connected to herself, it is as if I find more of myself to engage… to move forward another inch… to pick up speed in doing so… and to attain some kind of shift.  It is less about a new prism and more about a different facet on that prism.  Or is it? 

Maybe that’s what it has been in the past – facets of the same prism.  Maybe this feels so different because it is indeed, about a different prism.  

And so there I sit.  Breathing.  Paying attention to what moves inside me.  Willing and able to engage in those huge, thundering and destabilizing conversations with others.  Growing and expanding to know the much larger Space within which it can all reside and be ‘one’, rather than its fragmented and fractured pieces of a missing whole.  

What comes to mind is the notion of deciding one day to venture out and away from ‘home’.  Over time and distance travelled, eons pass and we have long forgotten the point of origin of our journey, distracted along the way by the wonders of the journey itself.  And still, it nags at me:  where is ‘home’?

Breathing is good….