Emerging Futures

I am a dancer.  I have no memory of anything other than loving the movement of body, connected and engaging in flow, with or without music. 

I remember moments of walking down the street, being present to the vibration of every cell in my body, as it engaged in the flow of getting from here to there; vibrating to, responding to and dancing with the sounds of the world around me.  Weaving and bobbing through the crowd;  a quick step to the left to avoid the baby carriage; and small skip to complete my journey through the intersection as the light turned red.  

My body dances to sounds around me… and sounds inside me.  Thoughts create the music of my life - inviting me to move slowly, tangled in the web of my own imaginings; or propelling me forward with the burst of energy that comes with a new insight, marveling at our endless capacity to make our lives interesting and entertaining! 

My mind dances to the words that flow in and through the conversations with those around me.  An idea… awakens and excites another idea… and in the blink of an eye, a life changes.  Quick steps; slow, meandering flows; thick and messy struggles… each an enlivened response to a dance of body, mind or spirit, engaged in living life to the fullest! 

Every one of these, a dance!  Every one of these, an excitation through some level of vibration, moving from thought through sound and image, to a place where my physical body connects with my physical world.  And through it all, I am enlivened and awakened and sourced by the dance!  Through it all, I am nothing if not the great joy of the dance, itself! 

And here is what I have come to discover - about myself and about those with whom I choose and have chosen to dance.  

I can share with you my great love of dancing!  I can speak with you about my love for the dance.  I can share with you all that I have learned in my own living, from the dance of who I AM.  I can direct you and guide you to ways and means to discover and engage the dance for yourSelf.  I can dance with you.  I can dance for you.  I can go first and dance a new dance of living.  I can dance alone and with others.  I can encourage you and cajole you and cheer you on in the creation of your own dance.  I can even use the movement of my body to press your body into movement.  But sadly, the one thing neither I nor anyone else can ever do, is cause you to love dancing. 

No one can make you love dancing.  That is something that you either find inside yourself - or you don’t. You might be able to fake the dance but you can never fake the loving of it. 

I LOVE dancing!  Without the love of dancing, I would have no idea who is the I AM that I bring into this world! Regardless of the music; regardless of whether that music moves inside me or outside of me; regardless of its form or shape or essence - whatever its intrinsic vibration of thought or image or sound or flesh; I LOVE DANCING!  

Wherever I am, whatever I do, whoever I am with, it is the essence of who I AM to dance… and more, to love dancing!  I actively seek out others who love dancing, no matter their perceived ability to follow the rules or know the ‘right’ steps.  What I seek is that innate, instinctive, intuitive love of dancing!  

I remember long ago being called a ’shit disturber’; accused of being one who ’stirred the pot’. Interestingly, these labels had been applied long before I had any idea what was considered good/bad, right/wrong, polite/rude.  I was a child - and even then, could not NOT see what lay before me.  Unable and unwilling to be blind to the obvious, I spoke what others carefully avoided to ensure that no illusion would be disturbed. Today, much older and wiser, I must both admit to and agree with those ‘charges’.  I continue to be unwilling to pretend that I do not see what I see, hear what I hear and know what I know.  Those are the steps in the dance of my life.

I am indeed, a moving presence that disturbs that which many others would prefer not to disturb and sometimes even more, actively engage to preserve the dormant status quo.  Like dancing in a crowded room, sometimes people bump up against each other.  Does that mean that we should cease to dance?  

Without that in myself; and without my relentless and tireless ability to continue to seek out others to play with for whom this is also the essence of their being, I would have to find a way to cease to hear the music.  And before I would do that, I would be willing to spend my life dancing alone. 

I can love dancing.  I can even love others who can’t dance.  But I can never cause anyone else to love dancing.  That is something that no one can hide - from themselves or anyone else - for very long. 

Breathing is good….

Since returning from the Emerging Futures: Entrepreneurial Women retreat, I’m noticing that I can hardly breathe!  From one day to the next, I catch myself holding my breath - time and again - and wonder what that’s all about!  Typically, breathing comes easily and effortlessly, bringing with it a sense of the vast Space that I AM for my own evolution.  But these last few days, not so!  

This new series of moments, strung together like pearls on a string, are separate and yet very much part of the same overall experience.  Perhaps as I wonder about it, I’ll do it out loud and discover what else is there for me. 

Breath, at the level of dense matter and the physical body, is essential to survival.  And yet I also know that breath, itself, is not the Life Force but the pump that allows that Life Force to move freely and immensely through my physical body.  Small, tight, tiny breaths = small, tight, tiny flow of Life Force.  

My Life Force rides on the crest of the wave of my own breath, making it possible for the ‘energy’ that sources me - body, mind and spirit - to touch every aspect of my being.  When I am not ‘in breath’, energy is significantly reduced, as is my sense of being nourished in body, mind and spirit. 

I’m noticing that when I hold my breath, it is on the inhale.  This leaves my body bracing… pressing against something… vibrating rapidly as if I have to hurry and get through something.  Images, thoughts, ideas, sounds wash over me in a tsunami of cascading notions that seem to somehow smash up against all that I know.  Other times, I have noticed that I have held my breath on the exhale, leaving my body static and tethered to my physical world… feeling slow and stuck or caught in space and time. No images or sounds; no notions or ideas other than the desire to be still.  These days, I am not feeling stuck - I am feeling as if I’m moving at mach speed!  Truth be told, maybe I am….   Maybe my body is trying to catch up to the rest of me.

My non-physical ‘being’ is already light years ahead of where my body stands.  In these moments, I can feel the matter associated to who I have been and what has been, crumbling at the edges at all Logical Levels.  All that I have been and all that is associated to it is moving and shifting and falling apart.  Disintegration is already happening.  Bifurcation is in flow… and my body is letting me know it is doing so with me and all that I am connected to/with in a physical world. 

And so I notice… I stop and take 5 long, slow, deep breaths… and allow myself to relax into the disintegration of my own life.  It is no longer who I am but an echo of who I have been - and it’s time for it to morph and transform and become the ‘more’ that I know I already am.  

Breathing is good…. 

And so I inhale more of who I know I am becoming… and exhale more of who I have been.  Inhale tomorrow… and exhale yesterday.  Inhale potential… and exhale history.  Inhale curiosity and exploration and adventure… and exhale yesterday’s successes, outcomes and results.  

I live in a world… my world… where in order to become, I must let go of who I was, recognizing that it all co-exists in the now.  My body becomes the territory within which this dynamic experience is sensed and embraced and lived. 

In this moment, I am reminded of Susan’s comment during EF:EW about the caterpillar to butterfly process:  that in the formless mass that briefly lives between no-longer-caterpillar and not-yet-butterfly, there is a pulse.  This pulse is the call to become… it is the vibration that invites matter to reform… and it is the call to awaken to the next expression of being.  If the caterpillar is unwilling to let go of what it knows, it cannot become what it does not yet know it is.  In this mush of who I am today, breath and the space it brings makes way for me to notice and follow the pulse.  The pulse is always in the mush - and I am never alone. 

Today, I am mush!  Glorious, life-enhancing mush, with the potential to awaken and engage the ‘me’ that I do not yet know can be!  I’m good with that, and I really do know….

Breathing is good!

I spent last week with a small group of women, talking… about many things, all of which were indicative of but a sliver of their own potential… and mine.  (Visit the Women Gathering blog for more about the week.)

I was deeply moved by my time with them.  I witnessed terror and courage; grief, sadness and loss sharing space with determination and hope.  I rode the wave of discovery, followed by the one of crashinging back into what was, trusting that the next one would be uplifting and move us closer to the shores of our intended destination.  

Just exactly where that was, no one was able to describe.  However, we all knew that this journey we were on - together - would be one long remembered and deeply cherished as having been the beginning of something potent and profound. We were awake and chose to engage in ways that would keep us awake.  

For me, this was yet another journey into the vast and accelerated potential of an Emerging Futures conversation.  They are unlike anything else I engage in.  It requires that we be willing to surrender the intellect and trust the body to lead.  In the lives we live, the only thing we can be sure will never lie to us is our own body.  These Emerging Futures conversations demand that I trust the unique signal that I AM in the world; that I be willing to be fully present and visible; and that I engage with the natural intensity that flows through my body.  These combine to bring the full measure of who I AM in the world to become the invitation to those with me to trust, allow and become that for themselves.  In that moment, magic happens!

Much can be said about these Emerging Futures explorations and will be said in other places.  But for now… for me… what will not leave me is yet one more experience that is evidence of two things:  1) women are the key; and 2) only a woman awake can awaken another woman.  

So familiar is our centuries-old commitment to staying in the coma that we have come to believe protects us from the pain of knowing, we will never abandon it unless it can be replaced with a deep and unwavering trust that we are safe in body, mind and spirit.  Only in the presence of a woman awake is another woman able to touch that Sacred Space where safety resides, becoming willing to shake loose the deep sleep that numbs her to her existing reality. Women awakening and awakening other women - shamelessly and without apology! - is the force that will transform our world.    

We know it’s no longer up to the men.  (And here, as in other places, I am feeling the pull to ‘do the thing’ - you know the one : the one about how I have nothing against men, that there are many fine and honorable men in the world, that I have two sons, a brother and a father all of whom are men, blah, blah, blah…. so suffice to say that all that is a given!)  We know that the world we currently live in is already shaped and defined by men; that many men are themselves saying, that it’s up to the women to clean up the mess (some things never change!); that women are the key to a new and life-sustaining way of being in the world, etc…. and that it’s not working.  If Gaia’s recent and terrifying expressions are any indication, we have precious little time to wake up and smell the roses.  

I know women are the key.  I also know that it is not a process of knowledge or information or training.  It is a process of awakening to what is already there and redirecting the force that we already are.  It is a process of calling up the truth that sits just below the surface and allowing it to move and become a force for redesigning and manifesting a new world.  All this demands a connection to the body in ways that allow the intellect to surrender to the body - and let the body lead.  We have no idea how to do that!  Having spent decades in the throes of repetitive and often brutal reinforcement to always have the intellect override the body, this is not an easy task to accomplish. And yet without it, we are destined to keep doing what we’re doing.  Clearly, it’s not working.  

This is a tough place for many women to stand.  And truth be told?  I don’t think a lot of women are up for it.  There will be a (relatively) small and highly contagious few who will become the attractor for those other few who will be drawn to the vibration of what ‘awake’ carries for them, in their lives.  They, then, will become part of this wave of those highly contagious few… and on and on it will go.  One breath at a time… many times over… by many women awake and shameless in their being so. 

My thoughts continue to unfold from my time last week and often seem random and in some way, chaotic. And yet, I know and trust that all is unfolding exactly as it should. Rather than try to surround them with flowing prose and arrange them in some way that does not come naturally, I share them here as the ‘thought farts’ that they are.    Do with as you will. 

* We are pollinating a new and emerging species.  There is no great mystery as to what that is.  For more than 50  years, our science has been slowly unfolding to us a far more powerful version of the truth of ‘what’ we are.  Not ‘who’ - not our characters or our personalities or our ‘humanity’ but the expression of our physical presence and its connection to the unseen.  These are not explorations of consciousness but adventures of expression through engaging the full measure of our physicality, guided by the intense presence of the unique signal that we are in this world.  We are indeed, Quantum Biological Humans.  Knowing that is not what makes the difference - exploring what that means, is.  

* The Quantum Biological Human™ wall chart (Fully Alive book) gives us a place to stand and from which to explore … and also, a place to move to.  We can choose to stay on the allopathic/Newtonian side and be dazzled in amazement by the Quantum side, or we can cross the divide and explore what it means.  Try it on!  Allow ourselves to experience rather than discuss and philosophize about.   It is a choice - and each of us is response-able for what we choose.  Our lives will become the obvious reflection of what we have chosen. 

* It’s up to women.  It’s up to women to wake up, stay awake and awaken other women.  Not against their will (that would just be more of what we already have!), but by our becoming willing to be seen and heard for the full measure of who we are.  Just be ourselves!  Tell the truth of our own experience, that we might be found by those seeking a different and far more powerful vibration of our own potential in our physical world.  Every time we hide; every time we pretend to be less; every time we become silent and withdraw; every time we live as if someone else’s opinion of us is more important than our own; every time we live as a shadow of who we are, we have become a part of the status quo.  We already know that the stutus quo is killing us.   What do we think we have to lose???? 

* Manifestation is a spiral.  Energy (LifeForce) moves through layers and eventually coalesces into dense matter we call ‘reality’.  As a process, it is predictable and accessible to us all. It is never absent and is constantly expressing.  We are never NOT manifesting!  Our individual and collective realities are the evidential trail of our quality of engaging this process.  It also has elements that we have been taught to separate ourselves from, like intensity (”chill out, slow down, ease up, mellow out”, etc.).  It also demands a strong connection to the unique expression of the signal that I AM in a physical world; and the willingness and ability to decloak and be shamelessly present as that unique expression.  The rest just falls into place.  The Quantum Biological Human is designed to have the signal flow through the device of the body and manifest an outcome from this natural flow.  

I know there will be many more Emerging Futures explorations.  I know that each pass will bring me closer to where I am going… wherever that is!  I trust.  I allow.  I follow the impulse and let go.  Some days, it sucks to be me and most of the time - the vast majority of the time - I love waking up to what and who I know I AM.  It only hurts when I forget. The rest of the time, it is what makes my life the Great Adventure! 

Breathing is good…

That we change is not what separates us from the rest of the world. HOW we change, is.

We are not the first (and likely will not be the last) who claim to have found a way to accelerate their personal evolution; to create profoundly meaningful lives for ourselves. Given that I’ve been in the ‘personal growth’ world both as a participant and as a facilitator/coach/educator for more than 40 years, I’ve seen more come and go than most people experience in a lifetime! I have made it my life (not just my life’s work) to explore, experience and express all that offers a gateway to transformation.

My explorations of what was ‘out there’ to help me change my life covers a wide range of what was and ‘has beens’, starting in the late 60’s all the way up to the current moment. I’ve been through every kind of therapy/process known to both novice and avid practitioner, alike.

I’ve been analyzed (from a range of counsellors, psychologists and mentors/guides to twice a week for 52 weeks with a psychiatrist… and for sure, after THAT, I really needed therapy!) and self-actualized. I’ve EST’ed, been tested (diagnostic kinesiology) and wandered the world of energy (Reiki attuned and chakra balanced from stem to stern). I’ve spent two decades of my life in ‘traditional’ therapies, not to mention 12 years spent in 12-Step programs for addictions and families of addicted people.

I’ve stretched my body (10 years of high-impact aerobics, running, weight lifting and yoga), my mind (read everything I could get my hands on from ‘New Age pookie-pookie’ as Anne Wilson-Schaef would say, to quantum physics, neuroscience, anatomy and physiology, NLP and hypnosis) and my soul (searching for god in all the wrong places… where even god would never hang out!). I’ve searched close to home and travelled across North America and Europe in my desire to discover…. myself.

And through it all, I launched myself body, mind and soul into every new discovery! I journaled, meditated and grouped process’ed. I sat in silence and talked myself silly! I held my breath, pinched my nostrils and twisted my body into as many tight little balls as I could manage. I read and I wrote. I talked and I listened. I struggled with it by myself and I shared myself into oblivion! And over time, I generated the most impressive and expansive library of books and audio/video programs that you’ll find anywhere in the world! Guthy Renker and I were on a first-name basis. I should have just given them my bank account number and had them put me on a monthly stipend and keep the rest!

Through it all, I learned a great deal. I could hold my own with anyone trained academically in human behaviour, often knowing more than they did. My entire life for more than 20 years had been devoted to finding myself! That’s a lot of discovery and information and education - and it was also a lot of disappointment and (sometimes) hopelessness.

Not that long ago, I sat across the table from a woman about my age who had just decided to engage in one of our intensives. Tears streamed down her face as she declared: “I can’t take one more disappointment! I can’t take one more unkept promise or undelivered result! I am spent - physically, emotionally and financially - and I don’t have much left to see me through one more failed attempt!” I knew exactly what she was talking about.

From 1968 to 2008, I’ve seen a lot of ‘pet rocks’ of the human evolution kind. I’ve seen things repeat, as they drifted onto the stage in one form, reappearing in new clothes 10 to 12 years later. In truth (at least my truth and that of many others), not much is really ‘new’ in this whole area. So much of what is touted as ‘revolutionary’ is a rehash of what already was expressed some four decades ago. The good stuff recycles - and so does much of the useless.

The arrival of Deepak Chopra and the notions of a quantum world began to touch the edges of something different and compelling; something that we could not easily parrot and yet, instinctively knew was worth exploring and figuring out. In the decades that I had been searching, there was finally something that was an invitation for me to reconsider WHAT I was and not just WHO I was, moving me beyond the content of my ‘psyche’ or personality and offering me a significantly and profoundly different perspective on my humanity and its expression.

So, color me radical in my approach to transformation! And ‘radical’ is a word that has been used to describe the things I say and a WEL-Systems perspective. And radical it is, when compared to what has been going on in this world of personal transformation for more than 40 years!

That we create change is not considered ‘radical’ - it’s how we do it that either really catches people’s attention in pure delight or with great annoyance. Because ‘how’ we change is really what makes the huge difference - in both approach and outcome.

It’s radical to consider that we are not WHAT we’ve been told to believe we are. It’s radical to consider that we are the very god we seek. It’s radical to consider that our bodies are quantum biological processors and that what they process are signals or chunks of energy/information that ultimately define the quality of our lives. It’s radical to consider that what goes on inside of me is far more relevant, pertinent and significant to the quality of my life than anything that goes on outside of me. And it’s radical to consider that the future is not something that we are captive to but is a constantly emerging invitation of potential and possibility that we have been taught to say ‘no’ to… and can learn to say ‘YES’ to!

I, for one, have found a very different way to consider my own evolution…. my own accelerated evolution. And I am not alone on this journey. Many, many more have discovered that when they become willing to reconsider WHAT they are, they become able to reconsider HOW they are.

Breathing is good….

I decided a long time ago that what lights me up - what makes my life worth living - is engaging with others for lives to change.  

This came profoundly into my awareness today as I listened to a CBC report on babies being abandoned at birth in some far-away country because these were ‘incest babies’ (babies conceived as a result of rape by a family member) and are believed to bring ‘bad luck’ to the families if they are kept.  As a result, these newborns are being left in the mud in fields, in latrines in men’s bathrooms and in other remote places, to die alone.

What struck me about the reporting of this story is that with all the attention placed on the babies and who was finding them and what people were doing with them; on the horrific plight of these young women - many of them barely out of the category of ‘child’ - I heard not a single reference… not a word!… about the cause of the problem:  the men who rape.  That seemed a little strange to me!

Funny, that…. that the source of the problem is completely avoided.  How does one solve a problem when we are unwilling to address its cause?

I sought out a conversation with someone whose world view I respect and opinion I value and said those same things:  how come?  How can it be so?  The ideas we then explored were about what people are willing to hear; what sells books and newspapers; and what people can tolerate before they feel overwhelmed by their own powerlessness and terror.

As I listened, I realized how my life has never been about selling books or programs or CD’s.  My life has always been about changing lives - my own and that of the person I am engaging with.  Maybe that’s what makes me such a gigantic pain in the ass to so many people!  I just will not quit as long as one of us is still breathing!

I’m not interested in dancing around the edges of someone’s miserable life and finding ways to ‘manage’ it!  I’m not interested in wandering around and telling stories and mapping out how or what someone else ’should’ do or ‘could’ do; and how its everyone else’s fault but our own.  What I’m interested in is:  what do YOU want?  What are YOU going to do?  How do YOU want to live?… and then get on with it!  It’s not always easy, it’s not always fun and sometimes, it gets downright ugly.   But the outcome is that if we want it; if we’re willing to stop lying to ourselves and ducking the truth of what we know deep in our bodies, our lives change.  Why?  Because we say so and not for any other reason!

And this brings me full circle, back to my first point:  how come we don’t say so on behalf of these screaming, dying babies?  Where are the voices of outrage from the men who are reading and listening to the same reporting as I am?   Where does the line get drawn in the sand when the truth is, men have been standing by, silent, for generations and watching other men wreak havoc in the lives of so many - and done nothing about it.  The problem is not that men are bad or evil - the problem is that they are silent in their own truth of knowing that what grows and feeds on innocence can also devour them - and they too, are afraid.  

I can change the world by changing my own world - one moment to the next.  I can change the world by being willing to engage my world, from one conversation to the next; one person to the next; one truth to the next.  I can change the world by being willing to take a stand in my world, and trust that the ripples will go out and touch the world around me.  And I can change the world by getting honest with myself and determining:  do I want to change my world… or just talk about it?  

Breathing is good…. 

I spent time today with a woman I consider to be a good friend.  We’ve known each other for about 6 years, and yet it feels like just the slightest brush of time.  If you offered me money to pick one thing about her that I don’t like, I’d be hard pressed to come up with something.  When I think of her or engage with her, my experience is always one of dignity, integrity and courage.  

Today, our time together really tugged at something deep inside me - something that has been rumbling around for the past couple of weeks as I made my way through the ‘leadership’ material and then a few subsequent gatherings of women.  I have noticed things about myself; and I have noticed things about myself in groups of women.  I have become very clear, open, honest and direct about my intense disgust with the cultural conditioning of women and the degree to which we allow ourselves to continue to subscribe to it even when we recognize it for what it is.  

For most of the women I now spend time with, long gone are the days when they were too small or too young to choose otherwise.  In this moment, they are old enough and wise enough to recognize that their prison is one of their own construction.  As much as there are places in the world where women are killed because they refuse to take out their subscription to the status quo, here (at least today) it is not so.  And yet, we are crippled under the weight of ‘what will others think of me’ or ‘I must be loving/careing/supportive/helpful/etc even if it kills me’ or ‘No problem - I know you’re hungry so help yourself to my entrails.. Here!  I’ll just roll over and make it easier for you to get to…’ - when with all of it, we know that our lives will not be worth living.

Strong and frequent are the pulls to allow ourselves to succumb to what we think others want of us… expect of us… require of us… need of us… demand of us (at least, in the dark places of our own minds)!  Easy and slippery is the downward slide of allowing ourselves to become lost in the myth and story of what we should be… must be… ought to be - even if it kills us. We don’t need to take our own life - we just need to lie back and think of England and allow it to be taken without protest.  It’s not that we choose to die, it’s that we are unwilling to fight to live!  

Unwilling to declare… to demand… to take!  Unwilling to wrap both hands around our life and say:  ”NO!  This life is MINE!  This one belongs to ME!  Get your own life - you CANNOT have mine! ”  But we don’t do that.  We suffer in silence.  We grit our teeth and lock our jaw so that we can get past… can stomach… can tolerate!… our own life.  We slide silently into the dark from yet another moment lost to our own unwillingness to stand up for ourselves.  We are so quick to take up and fight for the cause of others…. any other!… and yet for ourselves, we turn weak at the knees and dewey-eyed about our own right to live as we desire.  

We allow our sense of duty… of obligation and commitment… to sweep our life to the side, watching it slither slowly and painfully into the gutter of another lost hope… or forgotten intention, often turning our gaze away - pretending not to see - so that we do not have to witness who we have become.  We let go of our sense of being deserving of… of having the right to… a life of our own.  And as if it were not already bad enough, we then hate ourselves for who we’ve become.  We no longer need to be held in check - we’ve mastered doing it to ourselves.      

I’ve noticed lately in my work with women that there is this deep, intergenerational self-loathing that seems to be the back of the hand of which the huge desire to live, is the front.   It is the secret we try so desperately to keep from ourselves:  we want to live!  We want to live fully… and LARGE!… and with  gusto!  It is as if we despise our own unquenchable thirst for life and the degree to which it shows us up for wanting it to be so!  Just how deep does the cultural training go?   To what ends are we willing to go to pretend that it is not so; to be seen to be self-less and willing to put our lives on the back burner so that everyone else can have one?

I watch women come and go in program experiences, in coaching and small group gatherings.  I watch women begin to awaken; begin to find their voice, to recognize the vibration of power in their own sound.  I watch women begin to stir - carefully, at first - and reach for the life they want.  In the safety of each other, they become willing to allow their voices to carry the truth of who they are.  

There is a dynamic tension in their experience in the presence of each other.  There is a strength in the intensity with which they engage.  There is an ‘aliveness’ that is palpable; a sense of play,  an awakening to the irreverent and the outrageous, and a willingness to laugh out loud, dive in and take their lives by both hands!  It is as if they finally show up to take a stand - for themselves, for their own lives, and for a way of moving through the world that carries no apology for who they have become.  

And then, they return to their lives.  They hide the journey of how they came to stand where they stand.  They allow themselves to fall asleep - and sometimes, to feign sleep rather than deal with the consequences of being awake.  ”I don’t want to upset the apple cart”, or “They wouldn’t understand”, or “They don’t need to know” and in those moments, the opportunities for them to create and share their bigger, more compelling and rewarding lives with others… is lost to their own fear.  And yet, their world could have changed profoundly!  

I have yet to meet a single human being who does not have the desire to be more alive, more present and more engaged with themselves and the people they care about!  I don’t know a single soul who is not starved for the intimacy that comes with profoundly connecting to Self and the people they care about.  Far too many people are discouraged and exhausted by their seemingly endless and often hopeless search for authentic change.  And all that was required was that a truth be shared.   

I watch far too many go back into their lives and pretend they are not who they have become.  I watch them pull back, pull in and tone down.  I watch as the roar of who they have been returns to the squeek with which they have long made friends, over their life.  And I watch them disappear.  

In this moment, I feel saddened and fatigued by the relentless nature of how we keep losing ourselves; allowing our lives to slip away and not noticing until long after the trail has grown cold.  I feel overwhelmed by the density that comes with the passage of time and depth of  repetition that results in the unquestioned ‘grooming’ of women to become beasts of burden.  To me, it feels like watching a magnificent mustang turn into a donkey; a creature designed for freedom transformed into a beast of burden.  And if that were not bad enough, we have trained our own voices to repeat what we’ve been told and heap praise upon ourselves for having accomplished this transformation.  But inside, we’re screaming to get out and choking on our own despair.   

Maybe tomorrow will be different.  Maybe tomorrow, we’ll not be so unsure of ourselves, so afraid to be seen, so willing to hide who we are behind the expectations of others.  Maybe tomorrow, we’ll find not only comfort but a sense of personal power in relaxing into the intensity of how deeply we desire, how much we care and how profoundly it really does matter that we have the life we choose for ourselves… now!   Maybe tomorrow, we’ll give up waiting and hoping and wishing and we’ll simply make it so.  

Breathing is good… 

There are many people in the world who are devoting their lives to helping human beings find their way to more expansive and authentic expression of ‘the divine’ in their lives.  My personal favourites include people like Lynn Andrews, Bruce Lipton, Candace Pert, Joseph Chilton Pearce and many, many others.  Each of them, in his/her own way, is offering an invitation for us to discover more about ourselves than we have been limited to, given our cultural conditioning and its attending structures/limitations of beliefs, values and attitudes.  After all, this invisible network is what holds our world together when far too often it needs to come apart. 

Last night, I spent time watching the new Gregg Braden  DVD called ‘The Science of Miracles’.  Clearly, as I watched, I was aware that this is an honourable man, with honourable intentions and a great contribution to be made.  He’s been around for a long time and has created many different kind of offerings to invite, cajole, prod and startle his readers/listeners into new versions of themselves!  I can relate to that…

I liked this DVD and encourage others to invest in watching it.  His presentation offers background information that makes the leap seem more palatable… more manageable… in one step.  Like a trip to Hawaii from anywhere - it’s not a tw0-step journey!  You either go or you don’t.

There are moments in my life when I read/watch such things from Gregg or many of the others who are spending their lives on this trip, and I feel frustrated and discouraged that the pull to look at what was - to explore history, to discover the ancients, etc. - leaves me yearning to move on.  Move on with what we’ve discovered about what we are and engage that differently  Move on from looking outside ourselves for our answers and turn inward and gaze upon our own genius.  Move on from thinking that what we need to discover/understand will come from our past when (my truth is that) I know it is to be found by standing in the ‘now’ and moving forward.

We take such great comfort in our history.  All us - every single one of us! - is trained to look out and look back, believing that doing so will make it possible for us to move forward.  Maybe - but maybe not. 

I’m very grateful for what Gregg and Bruce and Lynn and others are bringing to our world.  I know that as people watch and read and listen, they will take comfort in the re-assurance that the unimaginable is indeed, possible.  And yes, I do acknowledge that we seem to need that.  Perhaps my question really is:  just how much do we need????  Will we ever have enough?  What will it take for us to stand in the now and move forward, trusting that as we do so all that is meaningful or essential from the past will make its way into our awareness and present for us to engage?

I realized quite recently that there is a very clear division of information in the books that I’ve written.  Because none of these books is about the content of the history but is about the process of how history is made, I am mindful that there is a progression in this discovery of process that seems to allow us to move forward.

‘Fully Alive’ is about a new way to consider ourselves, our lives and our experiences of that life.  The invitation is to step back from the content of our lives and discover the underlying and formidable processes that are the framework that holds our approach to self and other, intact.  The invitation in ‘Fully Alive’ is to revisit our lives directly in the body, metabolize or digest its intelligence and allow ourselves to move on.  In this approach, the content of the story holds no power.  In that moment, we are free to engage differently.

“Phoenix Rising: The Freeing of Human Potential” is the invitation to stand in the now - in the present - and redefine WHAT we are as human beings.   Today’s science goes far beyond describing who we are and completely redefines WHAT we are.  We are Quantum Biological Beings - beings of flesh and blood and bone that allow the flow of energy of ’self’ to present and move through a physical, tactile world.  We are brilliant, amazing and magical living organic devices - and the body is nonetheless a device. WE… I… on the other hand, am the I AM of past, present and future; the I AM of the ancients and of the as-yet unborn.  I AM the signal… and in that, I AM everlasting, always present and all-that-is.

The next book - the one that will speak to Emerging Futures - will be about how life can manifest when we let go of what was, stand in the now and claim WHAT we are, and allow the connection that WE ARE to the ‘divine’ evidence itself in our capacity to trust the flow of that genius, that signal, through the device and manifest our lives.  The magic of WHAT we are makes it possible for the genius of ‘WHO’ we are to show up in our physical universe. 

I remember the day I noticed, for the first time, that the posters on the wall of the Program Room had been speaking to me for months - and I had not heard.  In that moment, I noticed that the key model was that of The Quantum Biological Human and that little dotted line down the middle.  As I stood at the back of the room and drank it all in, I realized that the posters had ‘naturally’ aligned themselves so that all the models which represented the journey of freedom from the past were lined up to the left of the QBH poster; and all that was essential to living and manifesting a more meaningful life was lined up to the right of the QBH poster.  In that moment, it became clear that it’s a choice.  Plain and simple: it’s a choice.

I can choose to experience myself as what I’ve been taught to believe I am for decades; or I can choose to make the leap (and it is a leap - not a tw0-step process) and discover how to live as the amazing creature that I am.  But either way, I get to choose.

That little dotted line down the middle is the point of the gateway.  On the left of that line, the Newtonian world and its allopathic frameworks and its implications for what I am as a human being.  If I choose that, the default is all to the left - and it is impossible for me to live from all that awaits on the other side!  I have to get to the other side before I can live from it.

On the right, the Quantum world with is frameworks of energy, instantaneous and all -present and its invitation for the WHAT I am as a human being - and all that goes with it.  When I choose to stand on that side, my world explodes with potential!  And all I did was make a choice.

Evolution by Intention is a choice.  Living as a Quantum Biological Human is a choice.  Standing in now and breathing forward is a choice.  And once that choice is made, nothing can pull you back.  The paradigm has been shifted and the old world has disappeared into the new.

Paradigm shift.  You can’t get to a new paradigm by standing in the old one and planning the trip.  You go or you don’t.  You leap.  As Yoda would say : “There is no try.”  You get there or you don’t.  I now know that the journey of the models in the WEL-Systems body of knowledge are the stepping stones along a path that will bring you to the gateway…. to the little dotted line… and leave you there to choose.  It will take you to the doorway from which to leap to the new paradigm.  When you do, if you do…. all of this is up to you.

My clarity of mind is expanding and accelerating.  My time at Oceanstone last week, steeped in four continuous days of conversation in an Emerging Futures context, caused a ‘click’ of some kind.  I am grateful and ready for more!

My deepest gratitude to Gregg Braden, Bruce Lipton, Lynn Andrews, Deepak Chopra, Wayne Dyer and all the others who continue to share their journeys and their discoveries that we might find the courage to take our own.

Breathing is good….

 Sometimes, silence says it all.  I think of those times as moments in the void; as small movements and ripplings in the womb of potential; as my world shapeing itself without striving or effort, without intention or design; gaining strength by being quiet, being still and letting go. I seem to be in my greatest time of l’lessons learned’.  As strange as it may seem, there is great joy in  this process for me as so much has stayed the same for so long.  It is as if the surface had become impenetrable and is now yielding to something that will allow new things to grow.  Sometimes, rest is the good that preceeds change.  

I am discovering that I have to reclaim the territory of my own wise counsel.  As much as I have invited and welcomed the truth of others to weave through my own, it leaves me feeling like a pastoral scene spotted with pieces of carnival gear!  Nothing wrong with a carnival - it is out of place, incomplete and fractured, and simply is not who I am.  No doubt, I am not alone in this experience. 

And so, the coming weeks will reflect my movements and discoveries.  Soon, there will be a new two-day experience for me to engage with larger numbers of women; a process that will be filled with guided inductions and ‘do-me-button’ moments!  I find myself looking forward to the process for its incredible outcomes - and what else it may reveal to me about my own journey. 

For now, back to that stillness inside.  As I go about my busy-ness on the outside, I know that the stillness inside continues.  There, it is dark and soothing, waiting for the arrival of the new.

Breathing is good….

I’ve been living with chaos in my life, off and on, for a lot of years (and I know it is often no easy task). 

As powerful as a WEL-Systems® approach is, and as deeply meaningful as it is to me in the living of my own life, I had become restless about it and who I was becoming.   I care deeply for the people I engage with; and as much as I delight in their accelerated evolution and its impact on my own (it is, after all, a holographic universe), I felt unsettled in it all. 

Yesterday was one of the worst days of my life!  My body was in chaos, physically - with aches and pains in places I did not even know existed.  A vibration was moving through my body that left me feeling like I was perpetually about to leap off a precipice… just on the edge of falling over.  Yikes!  That’s not a good way for me to go through my day!

Tears.  Lots and lots of tears - and no idea why.

A huge sense of disconnect from all that I hold dear; as if watching it all from high above my ‘real world’, in some ways recognizing the power of it all and yet, in some way, having no desire to connect with any of it.  It was potent and deeply meaningful and yet, in some way, it had lost its meaning for me, personally.

Today, I was reminded of a very simple - and, for me, ESSENTIAL - part of who I am.  Not of what I do or what I know, but of who I AM.  

I re-discovered what brought the greatest joy into my life… to gather with people in conversation.  To explore and experience and discover; to LIVE those discoveries… and find out what else they lead to;  and lovingly, openly and easily share all of it with others who have an interest.

Engage with others in conversations to discover more of who I am and who I can become.  In so doing. those who gather with me discover more of who they are… and then leave and share that with the people they care about. 

Gather and engage!  Learn it - Live it - Love it - Share it!  (LLLS) It’s really that simple. 

Somewhere along the way, I got lost in the models of how others were doing/had done it.  I got carried away by the current of programs, exams and certifications.  I became numb to my own model of the world and found myself drifting along in the model of ‘how business should develop’ or ‘how a business should behave’.  This morning,  I remembered:  I am not a business, I AM… and so is everyone else.

I am excited about gathering with women in groups, talking… and discovering and becoming… and when we leave that group, sharing who we’ve become with others.  In that moment, we already have become the greatest invitation to our own evolution by decloaking and allowing ourselves to be seen.  When we do that, we learn how to see others more clearly and without the filters of expectations and outcomes. 

Wow!  I feel GREAT!  I feel so free and so much more like ME!  Truth be told, I’m not sure that much will look different on the outside - and it feels so much more alive on the inside!

I now understand so much more why Emerging Futures and Women Gathering is so important to me : they are about LLLS.  They are about coming together, knowing that our presence in the conversation is what is most potent; about recognizing that if we don’t learn, we don’t grow; and if we don’t grow, we can’t become more than we already are - and there is just so much more to us than what we’ve already found!

We are most enlivened by what we connect with… what we inhale and make part of who we are, in tissue, in our physical world.  We are most enlivened by what we love.

I LOVE this way of being!  For me, WEL-Systems is not about models or programs or certifications - it’s a way of being.  It’s my life, from one breath to the next; from one day to the next; and from one intention to the next.  I know that when others have been touched by this perspective, their lives have changed - rapidly, profoundly and generatively.   So profound and intense have the changes been that for many, they no longer even remember who they were before they began that journey of discovery.  And yet, it is in the cells of their very being: they can no longer be otherwise and who they now are touches and influences all who engage with them.

I now know my journey more clearly and powerfully.  I can see the road ahead of me and am eager to move down its path of sun, fog and storm clouds.  I AM all of it and I am willing to share it all with anyone who has the desire to discover.

Evolution by Intention is how I remind myself that it is about LLLS.  It is my way of heading in a direction that I believe can and will change my life and the lives of all who travel with me.  I also know that as those others move on and off the path that I’m on, they can not do other than to share with those in their life all that they have become.  It is not about knowledge - it is about essence of being.

I am so grateful for my life.  I am also so grateful to be so loved.