Losing Faith in Organized Religion

Once again, allegations of institutionalized child abuse perpetrated by the clergy of the Catholic Church fill the news. This time, Europe is awakening to what we for all too long have not wanted to see or hear or know as a truth in our own experiences:  we are a species that cannibalizes our young.

I’ve written about this in many other times and spaces.  It is never far from my awareness because of the nature of the work I do.  My life is filled with competent, resourceful and successful adults who still carry the scars – and sometimes, festering wounds – from times long-ago that rest  just below the surface of their enviable lives.

For more than 25 years, I’ve been working with adults whose lives have been deeply, deeply scarred by their experiences of being children.  Far beyond the notion of being prey to some dark and faceless presence that leaps out of the bushes and steals them away, children’s greatest harm is far too often at the hands of those supposedly charged with their greatest of care: parents, babysitters, teachers, pediatricians, school principals, doctors, choir masters, police officers, social workers, family friends, cousins,  aunts and uncles, sports coaches, siblings, therapists… and on and on the list goes.

Men and women, wearing the mantle of our sacred trust (see the list above) have become ‘untouchable’; sit beyond the reach of our willingness and ability to question their behaviours, their motives and their intentions.  Those dressed in the ‘titles’ of their professions live beyond the boundaries of our reproach; sit, unattainably, beyond the reach of the truth of our own experience.  Where did we learn that because someone has a title (doctor, priest, parent, etc) or a degree (knowledge and accompanying credentials ), their righteous rhetoric trumps the truth of our own experience?

In my time of working with others, I have heard stories that have filled me with a sense of rage and outrage; have left me weeping with my clients; have caused me to wonder at our capacity, as a species, for betrayal and brutality; and have laid out clearly, for me, why our world is in massive, pervasive and intensive decline.  We do indeed, reap what we sow.

And we do indeed, cannibalize our young – if not in body then in mind and spirit.  Indirectly, we let them know by our discomfort and agitation that we do not want to hear what they want to tell us.  Directly, we teach them to be silent and compliant in the face of  heinous violation in order to preserve the veneer of our intact lives.  We tell them no one will care… that speaking will bring the pain of retaliation in body (physical assault and worse) and mind (they will be abandoned, left unloved and disconnected from those they rely on for their very existence).

We strip them of their innocence… their capacity to know intimately and trust unquestioningly the innate genius of who they are… and expect the empty carcass to perform according to external standards we impose.  And impose them, we must, for they have lost their ability to determine them, for themselves.  For this, there is a price.  Innocence lost creates fear and confusion.  Innocence taken produces rage!  Our culture reflects this in its diseases of mind and body; and in our inability to trust – ourselves and/or each other.

Communities are struggling with allegations of organized efforts by pedophiles to take the innocence of our children… and their lives.   Whether these lives are taken physically or emotionally, victims are left to struggle for the rest of their lives with their own dark ghosts and agonizing inner conflict.  What might have been a life lived with potential becomes a life lived in the thick and sticky residue of rage mixed with betrayal and self-loathing.

Over these years of working with so many, I have come to one simple conclusion:  we don’t want to know.  We don’t want to see and hear what our children are telling us.  We don’t want to know the truth that awakens in us – having struggled for so long to make it go away! – when the vibration of the truth of our children causes all to begin to move and sway.  We don’t want to deal with what moves inside of us when we are confronted with the greatest of all challenges – that of having to face that there is no one who will take care of ‘it’ or ‘us’; that it is entirely up to us; and that ours are the voices that must find their sound in an undeniable chorus of “STOP!”

I stopped being a fan of organized religion (of any flavour) by the time I was 17.  Perhaps it was the hypocrisy of pontification by the priest, his boozy breath warming the back of my neck as  he inched himself as close as he dared without arousing suspicion, as well.   Perhaps it was the way the nuns bowed and stepped back, as if being second-class citizens were somehow ‘holy’ and meaningful and a great role model for the young women in their care.  Perhaps it was hearing all the other stories around me… stories like those that now fill the airwaves and newspapers… too many and too frequent to be brushed off with a flip of the hand and dismissed through use of shame and humiliation should you dare to speak.  It is so easy to marginalize a truth that does not match the one we want to hear.

As great as my revulsion is for what is occurring (and has been occurring for generations!) throughout the Catholic Church, their situation is not unique.  A greater and far more damaging and terrifying truth lives in the realization that for far too many,  our own homes are equally if not more dangerous than what has become institutionalized in our communities.

There is no greater sacred trust than that of parenting.  And there is no greater violation than that trust, betrayed.  Where does one hide from that?  Where do we run?

Over the years of working with the amazing people whose paths have crossed my own, I have been astounded at the number of ‘fully functioning’ adults who harbor deep and debilitating secrets; who carry the burden of the great shame that does not belong to them; and who have learned to separate their ‘being’ from their capacity for ‘doing’, that they might find a way to navigate a life long ago taken by those charged to protect.

When working with others, I sometimes have this image that comes to mind.. the image of a large, gleaming and beautiful pond… sunlight dancing off its surface… surrounded by the greenest of grass and abundant life streaming through birdsong and colorful vegetation.  And then, in an instant, it is as if the lid is lifted and what lies beneath the surface is a massive, seething cesspool… dark and filled with the stench of rot and puss and decay.  In that, there is nothing that sustains life.  And in that moment, any remaining illusion I might want to have about the myth of the intact family cannot hold its ground in the face of simple truth, openly told.

In this moment, I am clear:  the greatest of myths of intact families is that of organized religion.  The greatest illusion that we seek to continuously perpetuate is that of sanctity and holiness and sacredness… that of having righteousness and the hand of some god as our great permission to cause others to submit to some will, against the truth of their own experience.  In my world, organized religion is the last bastion of external referencing and one whose time has come to be brought into the light of day to be scrutinized and examined for what it is:  fallible, and often broken, people seeking to be seen to be other than what they are.   Mindless and intergenerational compliance will not change our lives or our world.  Mindful, unique choice – guided by the internal cues of the truth of our own experience – will!

No one is coming.  No one is going to protect us.  As sad and as terrifying as that may be, it really is up to us.  What we need to remember is that we are no longer 3; that ‘mom and dad’ – or their current representation of authority – are themselves often damaged and imperfect; and that the only permission I require to stand tall in the truth of my own experience, is my own.

Breathing is good….

Entrepreneurial WELbeing

How do I compress 1000 thoughts, streaming at mach speed through the living organism of this quantum biological processor, into coherent and successive statements that will make sense to the intellect?  In this moment, I know fully the visceral meaning of that expression of “… a picture being worth a thousand words! “ So many pictures – and far too many words!

In the last few days, I’ve had this expression of ‘entrepreneurial wellbeing’ floating around inside me.  Like a broken record, that phrase plays over and over again… calling to me to flesh out the notion and consider how it might be practically lived in a world that seems so mindlessly committed to externally referencing about everything!  If there is one thing that the notion of ‘entrepreneur’ requires, it is that of being internally referenced… BIG TIME!

In today’s world, so many are sick in body, mind and spirit.  Our lives are filled with the advice of others seeking to do our best for us; those seeking to guide us, repair us, redesign us and redefine us.  From medical advice that comes face-to-face, online or on television, we are constantly seeking outside of ourselves to find that which will bring peace… quiet… serenity… wholeness… to that which feels fractured and lives tumultuously inside of us.  Doctors have become for the body what our gods have been for the soul: someone/something ‘out there’ that has a power that is not available to us directly.

We have an ever-growing list of experts and professionals; guides and mentors and gurus; coaches and doctors of all kinds, at-the-ready to dive into all the things we bring to them, some held carefully in folded hands and offered cautiously, pleading for resolution; and others tossed boldly, and with vehemence, eagerly seeking to make our problem not our own.

No matter the approach, the desired outcome is always the same:  it is not up to me to make it happen.  Someone else (a doctor/guide/mentor/guru/coach) or something else (a drug… prescription or otherwise… a practice/discipline/technique) is going to give me back what I think I’ve lost (my health, my mind, my soul or my desire to live).

It’s not working!  Despite all the people who are now on pharmaceuticals; despite all the folks making repeat visits to an endless string of healthcare and other professionals, we’re as crazy as ever – and maybe even more so!  Depression is now the number one cause of employee absence from work – and we have no idea how to ‘cure’ depression!  The list of chronic and debilitating diseases grows, as does the DSM (The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) published by the American Psychiatric Association) – and getting bigger every year.

Leaves me wondering: what are we missing???

I think what we’re missing is attitude!  An attitude of ‘this is my life – and I’ll take it from here!’.  An attitude of: it’s up to me.  An attitude of:  there is nothing that goes on inside me that belongs to anyone but me!  An attitude of:   I may have been powerless once – and I’m not powerless anymore.

That notion of ‘entrepreneurial’ keeps coming to mind.  Taken from the original French of ‘entreprendre’… or to undertake… the language of ‘entrepreneurial’ speaks to the need for me to undertake all that is required for my own wellbeing.  It speaks to the need to turn my attention inside… where I live.. and discover the power of the truth that moves through me to heal me and make me whole.  It speaks to the notion of carving out a path of my own and not always seeking to walk the path carved out by others.  When I want to go North, following the path that leads South because it’s already there, may be easier.. and it will never take me to where I want to go!

That notion of ‘entrepreneurial’ calls to all that is internally referenced: trusting my inner cues; trusting an inner truth that calls to me to be heard.  It speaks to my sense of play and adventure, knowing that living a meaningful life… a full and rich and distinct life that reflects that which is uniquely mySElf… may well come with challenges!  But it also speaks to that great sense of courage and curiosity and play that will be what guides me through it all!

A WEL-Systems® approach to profound and generative change is one that lives on and in internal referencing.  All that is meaningful and alive and extraordinary comes from deep within that inner truth of ‘presence’ that is the unique ‘self’ that I AM.. and that you are.. and that each of us is.  And in a single breath, the notion of ‘Entrepreneurial WELbeing’ is born!

A WEL-Systems approach to accelerated and generative change – including the magic of Quantum TLC™ and The CODE Model™ – transforms mind and body.  Drawing on the natural intelligence of Spirit touching tissue; and trusting that there is genius in it all, including all expressions of ourselves that you and I have been taught to think of as broken or deficient or just plain wrong, a WEL-Systems approach is a profoundly internally referenced approach to our own WELbeing.  No one can be internally referenced for me!  That, I must do alone, for myself and often, by myself.

I have now lived this notion of ‘Entrepreneurial WELbeing’ for the last 15 years.  I don’t get sick; and I am only with doctors or in hospitals as my parents require it.  I”m happy to say that even my octogenarian/nurse mother (once a nurse, always a nurse!) is not as fond of these visits as she once was.  Even she will surprise me with observations of her own ‘ailments’ and their connection to what is moving inside her, about her.  How kool is that!?!!!

And here’s what I believe:  if my 85-years-young mother can do it, anyone can do it!   There really is another way and not only is it possible, we’re now collectively ‘sick’ enough to start noticing:  we must.

Breathing is good….

The Paralysis of Potential

Over more than 20 years of working with women, there have been unforgettable, life-altering moments. Moments when things are said in ways that profoundly display the immense genius of us all!  Profound-in-their-simple-truth moments… no longer able or willing to keep hidden what so intently lies below and screams to be seen and heard! As I read the recent postings on the WGGG site, one of those moments come to mind.

With the passage of time, the details of when and where have faded but what has remained is the universal truth of its underpinnings. A wonderful woman (and you know who you are!), faced with the sharp edge of her own evolution, was heard to say with the greatest of earnest: “I really want things to be different…. but I don’t want too much to change!”

Brilliant, don’t you think?  In that one, simple statement, we all got to hear and see and feel inside of ourselves our own paralysis in the face of getting what we want!  In that short and uncomplicated statement, we got to touch the complexity of intent and desire, interwoven with the terror of getting what we want… and losing what we have.

It is far too often what women do… what we all do.  We want things to be different and yet, we are terrified to act in the face of what we anticipate will be the consequences.  We want things to change and we are paralyzed by the thought that it might.  We long for and sometimes rage about  - inside, where we live – the life that we know we deserve.. and should have… and would take were it not for (fill in the blank:  lack of money, opportunity, support, the ‘right’ people, timing, etc.).

We know we are powerful beings!  We know that we must be very , very cautious about what we ask for since we will likely get it!  Far too often, we literally paralyze ourselves… immobilize ourselves physically and emotionally.. in order to slow ourselves down in an attempt to manage (i.e. control) the people and events around us that we might figure out how to respond and avert the likely impending disaster that we know having what we really want is likely to bring.

We are adept at… no, not strong enough!…. geniuses at being the biggest obstacle in our own path – and trying to hide that from ourselves.  Ouch!  As brilliant as that may be, we pay dearly at the last frontier : the physical body.  Our body plays out the raging inner battle for permission to live the life we desire; permission to be authentically ourSelf.  It need not be a HUGE life or an exemplary life – it need only be the life that reflects the much deeper inner truth of who we know ourselves to be.  And for that, we often feel we must pay the price of loss, pain and regret – punishing ourselves for seeking to ‘be’  more, ‘do’ more, ‘have’ more before someone else does it for us.

That is no longer my world!  Yes, there was a time when it was – and no longer.  That shift did not come in small, measured and closely managed increments.  It came as a result of letting go… of complete surrender… and realizing that if I was not living my life – the life I desired – then whose life was I living?

In all the years that I have worked with women, I have come to realize that our greatest fear is not rooted in not getting what we want but in getting what we want!  Can we handle it?  Will we still be loved?  Will we be abandoned… undesirable…unworthy?  Will we be alone?  Will getting what we want be the evidence of our self-ish and punishable way of ‘being’ in our lives, shunned by those who are more ‘loving’ and ‘loveable’ in their relentless pursuit of approval and acceptance by throwing themselves on the highly polished altar of martyrdom?

One book… a couple of CD’s… an hour here and there.. won’t do it.  Here’s the bad news:  if I am  not fully embracing the life I desire, I’m living the life I was given.  Not good/bad, right/wrong – just a simple statement of fact.

When I do a ‘reality check’, I choose to pull myself up to the table where I know I will find other women LIVING LARGE and LIVING FULLY.  Why do I do that?  Because I know that if I don’t, I will have – by default – pulled myself up to the table of women living the lives that were handed to them – and I’ll die.

Breathing is good….

Pandemic

It’s been lingering in the background for some time.  In the last few days, its vibration has amped up significantly as Mexico and other countries ‘brace for impact’ of what many have long intended and been waiting for.  

It would be easy to tell a long story about this; to spend time and typing and ‘pages’ in proffering a perspective that would encompass the allopathic medical model, the great adventure of pharmaceuticals, the drama of description and prescription… and as tempting as that might be for one who loves to write and delights in the music of words, I am clear that it is not necessary.  

I learned long ago that without hospitable ground; without an internal state that is conducive to the extended stay of a guest, dis-ease cannot take hold in the body.  The body is the last frontier for the delivery of the message and when we are paying attention to the messages along the way, the need to express directly through tissue is not required. 

Fear creates hospitable ground.  Rage, resentment, vengeance, hatred… all these create hospitable ground.  Secrets kept.  Lies told.  Betrayals perpetrated or avenged.  Grief long held and long silenced.  Distrust – of self and other.  

I have but one Rx to suggest in the anticipation of what is to come:  to engage in open, clear, honest and direct expression – with self and other.  Beyond that, anything else is irrelevant.

Breathing is good….

RIGing – a powerful alternative to ‘love’

I’ve come to conclude that the language of ‘love’ is highly overrated! Having just completed a week-long conversation with a small group of women gathering… talking about their lives… it became clear to me that we have mastered a huge variety of ways to denigrate ourselves in the name of ‘love’.

“Love’ is not real. It’s a nominalization… a code word that we attribute to a perceived state of being. It is a label that we put on something – whatever that something is – that is riddled with culturally conditioned beliefs, values and attitudes about who we are, depending on our gender, age and place in the culture; and how we must interact with each other to achieve a particular outcome. The notion of ‘love’ or ‘loving’ is weighed down with more than enough practices, rituals, expectations and fears to cripple us for a lifetime.

“I love you so I’ll surrender my own well being in the name of yours.” How is that useful? How does my being less of a person in any way contribute to you being more of one?

“I love you so I’m going to pretend that you’re not who I experience you to be, but will accept you for who you want me to believe and tell others you are.” How does that build anything worth having?

“I love you so I’m going to allow you to ignore me, humiliate me, embarrass me, use me as a shield and as your kicking post so that you don’t have to deal with your life.” How does that help either of us to live fuller, richer lives?

The things that have been done in the name of ‘love’…. love of some god, love of some person, love of some principle, love of some philosophy, love of some desired outcome…. are legion not only in their range but in the immensity of their devastation to the human spirit. We slap, yank, punch, pull, drag, name-call, threaten and much, much more, in such a variety of ways, all in the name of love. Sometimes we do it with our children; and sometime, with each other.  Sometimes we do it with our bodies and sometimes, with our words. All are devastatingly painful.

I, for one, am choosing to remove the word ‘love’ from my vocabulary.

During our week-long Whispers from Within Women’s Writing Retreat, it occurred to me that I am unwilling to live my life without respect, integrity and generosity of spirit – for myself when I’m with you and for you when you’re with me. Respect – of myself and of you. Integrity – within me and within you. Generosity of spirit – for me and for you. RIG.

I’ve concluded that I would much prefer to RIG you and have you RIG me than far too many of those other things that pass as ‘love’. What a loaded word love is! For women, ‘love’ has become the trigger to abandon ourselves in the name of another; to allow ourselves to be lost in the sea of needs and wants of those around us. “Love’ is a word that is dripping with selflessness (like that’s a good thing!), obligation, commitment, struggle and self-sacrifice. If ‘love’ demands self-lessness, I’ll pass. If I am not my Self, then how can I connect with anyone else?

I sat and I watched and I listened to these wonderful women and I was aware of the degree to which ‘love’ing them felt so small and puny. The greatness of their Spirit was far more expansive than ‘love’ could sufficiently honor… at least, as we’ve come to know and experience ‘love’ in our habits of body and mind. Far too many of us live in bodies filled with rage and shame and fear and resentment, all spawned from declarations of ‘love’, and ‘for your own good’.  

I realized that I had such respect for myself in the presence of these women, and such respect for each and everyone of them. I realized that living this way – engaging in these explorations of living large and in a way that welcomed being open, clear, honest and direct, was more important to me than whether or not they ‘liked’ me; or whether or not they might be upset by my truth of myself as I shared it with them. In my experience with them, I felt like a woman of integrity and I know – despite the difficulties that it might bring – they did, too. In their company, generosity of spirit was given and received as we sought to find truth in our expressions of day-to-day living.

I RIG them – every one of them! I RIG how they move through their world; their courage and strength; their vulnerability and willingness to decloak. I RIG them for their willingness to allow themselves to be authentic and present; to be seen and heard for all that they are and all that they aren’t, even when they’re unsure of the outcome.

I RIG my partner, my sons and my mother – never forgetting that they are first, their own person AND THEN in a dance of living large with me! I respect them – and I feel respected by them. I hold them as people of integrity and trust that they are who they present themselves to be with me, as I am so with them. I welcome their generosity of spirit with me and seek inside myself, mine with them.

RIGing – I’ll take that over ‘loving’ any day of the week. RIGing does not need to lie or deceive or betray. It does not need to punish or withhold. It does not need pretense to sustain itself and feeds mightily on the authentic, awakened presence that we often spend a lifetime trying to snuff out!

RIGing – I wonder what our world would become if we sought to RIG rather than love? I’m willing to test that one out!

Breathing is good…

The Audacity of Being Present

I’ve been reading the blogs and emails of some of the women I spend time with.  I’ve been chatting and listening to the direction their lives have taken since our last time together.  There is a theme emerging and I believe it is greatly important to pay attention to it. 

The theme is this:  the audacity of daring to claim our own lives!  The audacity of declaring who we are, who we choose to become and how we choose to move through our world.  The audacity of thinking that we need not seek permission; need not canvass for approval of the majority; and need not wait until we are hoisted up into our lives by the surge of living of another. 

Audacity.  The audacity of presupposing that negotiation is no longer required.  The audacity of believing… thinking… knowing!… that we not only have the right but simply proceed as if we have already claimed that right to live lives of our own design.  How dare we….. 

Audacity.  The audacity to no longer be who we once were.  The audacity to have moved away from the one everyone else was so comfortable with… the one that was so easy to get along with because we went along with.  The audacity to have changed our mind, changed our way of speaking and changed where we drew the line in the sand. 

Audacity.  The audacity to laugh out loud – even at our own jokes!  The audacity to simply love out loud, when we do; to say what is meaningful, no matter what others think we should be saying given the location, time of day or presence/absence of some ‘authority’.  The audacity to consider that we need not first ask “What are the rules?” but simply proceed in the creation of our own.  The audacity to make it up as we go along. 

Laughing out loud!  Loving out loud!  Being heard and being seen!  Taking without asking.  Declaring without consulting and  negotiating.  ’Being’ without seeking permission for it to be so.  

How dare we?  I, for one, am up for that! And more and more, I find myself in the amazing company of other women who are daring for themselves.  Smart, funny women.  Courageous and curious women. Women of intelligence in all ways.  Women who love deeply and are choosing to love themselves with equal force.  Women who are unwilling to go quietly into the night and live someone else’s life because someone told them they should.  

I know that I am in the best of company. 

Breathing is good….

Sorting out Shadows

More pieces are coming into my awareness. 

Yesterday, I had time with a wonderful woman whose company lights up my day!  Lisa dropped by the office because of a technical problem with CD’s… only to discover once she got there, there were no problems.  AND we had a great conversation!  I feel compelled to acknowledge that our messages come in the strangest of bottles…

We talked about many things and as we did, I heard myself speak of organizational systems as reflections of the people who create them; that these so-called ‘systems’ do not exist but are the shadow that we focus all of our attention on, forgetting to pay attention to the matter and energy that allows the shadow to exist.  Change the matter; change the energy and the shadow acts accordingly.

Today, in chatting with Sheila about her upcoming Decloaking and Living Authentically experience in a couple of weeks, I heard myself say that for me, these are not programs or intensives or even experiences.  They are reflections (or shadows) of my intention to create shared universes.  

Two different expressions of shadows – and both shadows, nonetheless.  As the Hawaiians would say:  Same, but different.

Recently, one of my clients was diagnosed with cancer.  We’ve been spending time in conversation about that, slowly coming to recognize that the cancer is not ‘real’; that it is a reflection of the energy/information that is in flow (Signals 1, 2 an 3) in the body, ultimately presenting as Signal 4 (the expression in physical matter as a byproduct or reflection of what moves through it).  For many, that’s a difficult place to stand in the face of such (for most) a frightening manifestation.  

Disease – whatever it is : cancer, diabetes, Chrone’s, anxiety, fibromyalgia, etc – is the shadow that lets us know the dance of energy and matter that is being created.  In our fear and our misunderstanding; and in our efforts to get rid of what presents, we seek desperately to engage what we are looking at (as opposed to what we can see, if we are willing to look elsewhere!).  In that, we seek to act on the shadow. 

Acting on the shadow will not give us what we want.  Internal and external; physical and emotional health and well-being.  And yet, we have been trained to focus our attention on the shadow because it is easier for us to detect.  Our eyes have been trained to see one shape (shadow) and not another (energy moving in matter).  It is not that we are not able to see – it is that we are not looking in a direction that will make what we’re looking at, meaningful in any way. 

In my desire to create shared universes, I have also chosen to leave some of those shared by many, which are no longer meaningful to me.  The world of shadows is not a bad world; nor is it a world that I hold as offensive or to be shunned.  It is for me, however, one that speaks only of what was, with the shadow always an afterthought of what has gone before it.  Personally, I choose to stand in a different place and cast no shadow.  

Imagine a world of health and healing (of body, mind and spirit) where we recognize that the underlying context that will transform our well-being is one that declares : human beings are self-healing and self-directing with regard to wellness.  Our so-called ‘dis-eases’ or ‘illnesses’ are messages from our internal world (our world of internal references) that invite us to grow and expand and become.  As a living expression of the godforce that I am; and as an organic being, I either grow or die.  Growth demands that I discover, acknowledge and engage the internal cues that drive my evolution.  The alternative is to live in the land of shadows. 

The organizational system… the religious system… the family system – all are shadows that reflect the energy that sources them.  Each of these (including the individual systems within each of them) are equally shadows or reflections of the energy that sources them.  We already have the science that demonstrates to us that the body is a quantum biological processor.  What we now require is the science that helps us to understand the dance of the signals flowing through it.  It is the dance of the signals that shapes the shadow we so dearly love to invest ourselves in! 

Breathing is good….

From depression/despair to delight!

I had an amazing experience, recently.  A very dear friend wrote me in a state of despair.  In a moment of engaging, I shared some thoughts with him – and his world changed.  Imagine!  Such profound shifts from such little effort!  Can it really be that effortless?  In a matter of days, he started a new life and is now LIVING!  If that’s not magic, I don’t know what is….

I believe in that kind of magic for us all!   I share those same thoughts with all of you in the event that something awakens.  Perhaps it will be the invitation that you consider, for yourself.  

Enjoy!  

As much as it is not what we spent decades of our lives being taught, we know from science today that the physical human body is a device – a brilliant, quantum biological device – but a device nonetheless. What I call ‘I” is not the physical body… it’s the animating force… the energetic presence… the expression of ‘self’… that makes the physical body unique. When I say ‘I’, I’m not speaking about my physical body… I’m talking about the unique essence or vibration that I AM in the world… just like the “I AM’ that is Phil is not the body you’re in… it’s the energy that you are.

If you think about your tv set, channel 10 is not the box and screen that the images come in on, it’s the information/energy that flows into the box/screen and then displays itself as the pictures and sounds on your tv screen. Your body is the box/screen…. and the “I” that you are is the flow of the information/energy that displays through the box/screen, that other people see/hear as ‘Phil’.

Does that make any sense to you?

So, when the box/screen is running ‘movies’ (the thoughts you think or the sensations you feel), ‘you’ are the essence that can observe it all. You’re the unique signal of ‘self’… of ‘Phil’… that flows through the box/screen without being any of the thoughts/sounds/images that the box/screen is displaying.

So, what that means is that the next time your body (box/screen) is expressing thoughts/feelings (energy/information), remember that you are not your body….you’re the signal.

Where it gets tricky is that in addition to the unique signal from Self that you are, your body is also flowing competing channels! So, in addition to the signal from Self that flows through (and that’s really who/what you are), there are also Signal NO. 2 (Androgynous Baby stuff) and Signal No. 3 (learned/acquired experience… what NLP would call anchors, parts, strategies, beliefs/values/attitudes, etc.) that are in flow. So, the picture on the screen can get pretty messy… with information from three different channels competing for the same screen space!

What you have to remember is that who you are is the animating presence… the unique energetic expression in the universe… and that the other two signals are designed to be ‘digested’ by the body, metabolized and used to transform who we are in the physical world.

I think if you read Part III of the big NLP article I wrote, it might help you make sense of it. You can find it under Free Articles, called ‘NLP: Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow’.

Here’s the bottom line: you and I are Quantum Biological Humans… with the body as a quantum biological processor that is moving information/energy through physical matter to express in a physical world. The new and emerging species is the Quantum Biological Human.. the one who recognizes and claims the Signal that they are expressing through and in a physical world. The signal that you are and I am… the truth of who you and I are… is that each of us IS the godforce in expression in a physical world.

We are the god we seek. We just haven’t noticed yet.

Imagine if you work up tomorrow and you knew… in every cell of your being… that you ARE the godforce expressing in a physical world. In that moment, you realize that YOU create it all! YOU are all of it! In that breath, you have to ask yourself: how does the godforce choose to live today?

Breathing is good…..

Taking it back!

Another one of those moments… driving to work listening to the CBC.  This time, I caught the tail end of a conversation about how difficult it is becoming (at least, in Ontario) for people to find a family physician.

 

The conversation also explored the characteristics of the patients that doctors don’t want (my words, not theirs….that would be much too direct…).  You know the ones – chronic complainers about illnesses that either doctors can’t find any evidence of or worse, they can and the patient is unwilling to do what is required for them to get well (i.e eat differently, exercise, stop smoking, etc…).  The ones that I was mindful of are those who really don’t feel well and no matter how many doctors they go to, there is no evidence of any illness.  Hmmm… I wonder what’s up with that!

 

It left me very aware of the degree to which we have given up responsibility for our own wellbeing – physically (doctors), emotionally (therapists, coaches, guides, gurus, etc.) and spiritually (religion, dogma, collectives, etc).   When we need something, we look outside ourselves to find someone/something else that will give it to us.  Day by day, we become more and more captive to group-think and the mind-share of the collective we find ourselves in. 

 

We’ve given up even thinking an original thought, fearing that it will be ridiculed, reviled or result in our being banished from the collective.  We’ve become obsessed with what other people think we should be or what they think of who/what we already are.  We are more concerned about ‘the truth’ of an external judge than we are about an internal truth which can only be judged by us.

 

In the great painting of life, our pixels are fading.  We’re losing the vibrant colors of uniqueness and individuation and trading them in for ghost-like representations of who we have been or who we might have become.  Our edges are fading, making it more difficult to distinguish one from the other.  We have become the very fog we wander around in, lamenting:  where am I??  What happened to me???

 

Take it back!  We need to take back our very personal, very unique, very individual truth that is associated with our own experience!   Take back our right to breathe easily, deeply and effortlessly… and to take our time.  Take back our voice and our right to use it.  Take back our destiny and our capacity to shape it for ourselves .  Take back our ability to declare rather than ask.  Take back our willingness and ability to challenge rather than please, appease, placate and soothe.  Take back being the one who decides whether we will or won’t; and when we do, what it is that it will be.  

 

No longer waiting for someone else to do it for me, or show me the way, or tell me how long, how far and how fast.  No longer willing to bow to a smarter one, or older one, or one that has more credentials.  No longer willing to hold on to what has long been dead, even when we all pretend that it still has life.  

 

Moving on!  No longer willing to stand still when my feet are itching to move; my legs are screaming for the long run; and my heart is pounding in my chest in the anticipation and excitement of the race!  Not a race against anything or anyone,  just a race for the joy of discovering how fast I can run! 

 

We need to pay more attention to what is going on inside and turn down the volume on what is going on outside.  We need to stop… and take stock of what’s true for us, what’s real for us and what we genuinely, deeply care about.  We need to stop lying – to ourselves and the people around us – because we think doing so will make someone feel better.   We need to take a breath… and ponder a request before we say ‘yes’ to it.  We need to look beyond the habits of our past and get curious about all the things that we’re afraid of; all of the things that we’ve not allowed ourselves to consider for fear of losing interest in our lives.  We need to let ourselves imagine the life we want – the life we know we desire and deserve! – and trust that if we can imagine it, we can create it.

 

Given that all things unfold exactly as they should, perhaps the shortage of accessible doctors is our invitation to look elsewhere for the assistance/direction/support we require.  If charity begins at home, so does health, vitality, wellbeing, joy of living and the desire to get out of bed in the morning and be who we are! 

 

Life isn’t complicated – it’s just personal.

 

Breathing is good… 

Sainthood and Martyrdom: It’s a girl thing

I spent time today with a woman I consider to be a good friend.  We’ve known each other for about 6 years, and yet it feels like just the slightest brush of time.  If you offered me money to pick one thing about her that I don’t like, I’d be hard pressed to come up with something.  When I think of her or engage with her, my experience is always one of dignity, integrity and courage.  

Today, our time together really tugged at something deep inside me – something that has been rumbling around for the past couple of weeks as I made my way through the ‘leadership’ material and then a few subsequent gatherings of women.  I have noticed things about myself; and I have noticed things about myself in groups of women.  I have become very clear, open, honest and direct about my intense disgust with the cultural conditioning of women and the degree to which we allow ourselves to continue to subscribe to it even when we recognize it for what it is.  

For most of the women I now spend time with, long gone are the days when they were too small or too young to choose otherwise.  In this moment, they are old enough and wise enough to recognize that their prison is one of their own construction.  As much as there are places in the world where women are killed because they refuse to take out their subscription to the status quo, here (at least today) it is not so.  And yet, we are crippled under the weight of ‘what will others think of me’ or ‘I must be loving/careing/supportive/helpful/etc even if it kills me’ or ‘No problem – I know you’re hungry so help yourself to my entrails.. Here!  I’ll just roll over and make it easier for you to get to…’ – when with all of it, we know that our lives will not be worth living.

Strong and frequent are the pulls to allow ourselves to succumb to what we think others want of us… expect of us… require of us… need of us… demand of us (at least, in the dark places of our own minds)!  Easy and slippery is the downward slide of allowing ourselves to become lost in the myth and story of what we should be… must be… ought to be – even if it kills us. We don’t need to take our own life – we just need to lie back and think of England and allow it to be taken without protest.  It’s not that we choose to die, it’s that we are unwilling to fight to live!  

Unwilling to declare… to demand… to take!  Unwilling to wrap both hands around our life and say:  ”NO!  This life is MINE!  This one belongs to ME!  Get your own life – you CANNOT have mine! ”  But we don’t do that.  We suffer in silence.  We grit our teeth and lock our jaw so that we can get past… can stomach… can tolerate!… our own life.  We slide silently into the dark from yet another moment lost to our own unwillingness to stand up for ourselves.  We are so quick to take up and fight for the cause of others…. any other!… and yet for ourselves, we turn weak at the knees and dewey-eyed about our own right to live as we desire.  

We allow our sense of duty… of obligation and commitment… to sweep our life to the side, watching it slither slowly and painfully into the gutter of another lost hope… or forgotten intention, often turning our gaze away – pretending not to see – so that we do not have to witness who we have become.  We let go of our sense of being deserving of… of having the right to… a life of our own.  And as if it were not already bad enough, we then hate ourselves for who we’ve become.  We no longer need to be held in check – we’ve mastered doing it to ourselves.      

I’ve noticed lately in my work with women that there is this deep, intergenerational self-loathing that seems to be the back of the hand of which the huge desire to live, is the front.   It is the secret we try so desperately to keep from ourselves:  we want to live!  We want to live fully… and LARGE!… and with  gusto!  It is as if we despise our own unquenchable thirst for life and the degree to which it shows us up for wanting it to be so!  Just how deep does the cultural training go?   To what ends are we willing to go to pretend that it is not so; to be seen to be self-less and willing to put our lives on the back burner so that everyone else can have one?

I watch women come and go in program experiences, in coaching and small group gatherings.  I watch women begin to awaken; begin to find their voice, to recognize the vibration of power in their own sound.  I watch women begin to stir – carefully, at first – and reach for the life they want.  In the safety of each other, they become willing to allow their voices to carry the truth of who they are.  

There is a dynamic tension in their experience in the presence of each other.  There is a strength in the intensity with which they engage.  There is an ‘aliveness’ that is palpable; a sense of play,  an awakening to the irreverent and the outrageous, and a willingness to laugh out loud, dive in and take their lives by both hands!  It is as if they finally show up to take a stand – for themselves, for their own lives, and for a way of moving through the world that carries no apology for who they have become.  

And then, they return to their lives.  They hide the journey of how they came to stand where they stand.  They allow themselves to fall asleep – and sometimes, to feign sleep rather than deal with the consequences of being awake.  ”I don’t want to upset the apple cart”, or “They wouldn’t understand”, or “They don’t need to know” and in those moments, the opportunities for them to create and share their bigger, more compelling and rewarding lives with others… is lost to their own fear.  And yet, their world could have changed profoundly!  

I have yet to meet a single human being who does not have the desire to be more alive, more present and more engaged with themselves and the people they care about!  I don’t know a single soul who is not starved for the intimacy that comes with profoundly connecting to Self and the people they care about.  Far too many people are discouraged and exhausted by their seemingly endless and often hopeless search for authentic change.  And all that was required was that a truth be shared.   

I watch far too many go back into their lives and pretend they are not who they have become.  I watch them pull back, pull in and tone down.  I watch as the roar of who they have been returns to the squeek with which they have long made friends, over their life.  And I watch them disappear.  

In this moment, I feel saddened and fatigued by the relentless nature of how we keep losing ourselves; allowing our lives to slip away and not noticing until long after the trail has grown cold.  I feel overwhelmed by the density that comes with the passage of time and depth of  repetition that results in the unquestioned ‘grooming’ of women to become beasts of burden.  To me, it feels like watching a magnificent mustang turn into a donkey; a creature designed for freedom transformed into a beast of burden.  And if that were not bad enough, we have trained our own voices to repeat what we’ve been told and heap praise upon ourselves for having accomplished this transformation.  But inside, we’re screaming to get out and choking on our own despair.   

Maybe tomorrow will be different.  Maybe tomorrow, we’ll not be so unsure of ourselves, so afraid to be seen, so willing to hide who we are behind the expectations of others.  Maybe tomorrow, we’ll find not only comfort but a sense of personal power in relaxing into the intensity of how deeply we desire, how much we care and how profoundly it really does matter that we have the life we choose for ourselves… now!   Maybe tomorrow, we’ll give up waiting and hoping and wishing and we’ll simply make it so.  

Breathing is good…