Seeing Through the Eye of the Storm

Recently, there has been lots of turmoil.  Lots of change and uncertainty.  Life coming and Life going away.  Many new ideas and considerations.  New and different paths from which to choose, needing first to explore and discover the underlying mechanism for choosing that will enliven my ‘being’.

Random thoughts coming and going, some taking root and some simply nodding in my direction as they fly through the seeming chaos of my own world.

No answers – just a different way to see.  No right/wrong, good/bad – just a moment of choice, before the next moment presents… and then the next presents, again and again.

I share with you what has flashed in and through my own awareness.  Who knows?  Maybe it will matter for you, too.

• I have no interest in the content of your day; and I have a profound interest in the process from which you choose to live your day!
• I can tell you to breathe, but I cannot breathe for you.  That is your choice.
• I can point to the process and say “Follow the stepping stones!” and I cannot walk the path for you.  That too, is your choice.
• I can walk the path and long for you to find it for yourself… and I will not lose my path that you might feel better when you are lost to your own.
• I can choose for myself; and share with you how I am doing that choosing.  And that you choose or not; when/what you choose – those are of no  concern to me.  Your life is not mine to live.

My greatest gift to you is my profound indifference.  In that indifference, I will not lie to you, through deception or withheld information; seek to manipulate or shape you; try to ‘sell’ you on anything; and have no vested interest in what you do/do not do.  Your life is yours, to live.  And in that indifference, I am the greatest of companions on a journey, shared!

When it comes to manifesting a meaningful life, here’s what I know I must always ask, within myself:

• Do I want my life to be different?  This demands that I get honest with myself and determine:  what do I really want?  And what am I seeming to want in order to be acceptable/approved of/validated by others?  Without honesty here, the rest is  a waste of time.  And if I really do want my life to be different, my next question is:
• Am I willing to live differently to make that happen?  If so, that requires that I think differently; so that I might choose differently; so that I might behave differently… and from there, that I might live differently.   I can’t get to the last one without moving through the first three.

As the world accelerates… everything picking up speed, regardless of the state of the journey or the destination… I know now, more than ever, that the exploration of evolution of consciousness (including, what is that????), for its own sake, will be what sets me free!

Breathing is good….

Women in Collective: Redefining Networking

Now in business for more than 20 years , I’ve lost count of how many early mornings and evenings I’ve spent in the presence of other women in business.

Over those many years, I’ve also had the opportunity to speak to many groups of women (professional groups, corporate groups, personal growth conferences, wellness conferences, etc.) and engage with them, post presentation.

I’ve belonged to a wide range of women’s groups, originally local in nature and then eventually, with the advent of technology, ‘virtual’ in  their reach.

I’m not who I used to be and, truth is, I’m grateful for that.  Along the way, I’ve discovered, evolved and become much more an expression of what is meaningful to me rather than seek to be what is  familiar to or comfortable for another.

I’ve changed my mind about what I hold as meaningful about this notion of ‘networking’.  Call it experience, wisdom or the simple passage of time, I know that my world is mine to create as I see fit.  The outcome of this shift in my own perspective now translates to a different set of perceptual filters in place when I consider what calls to me to engage.  I share these with you that you might reconsider the possibilities for yourself.  Here are five simple thoughts I keep in mind when making the meaningful choices for myself, around networking.

* Go to give –  not to get.  The ‘getting’ will happen all by itself.

Rather than playing the ‘business card shuffle’ or looking outside myself for the next client or the next sale, I focus on looking inside myself and ask:  what can I bring to the party?  When I look back at the end of the evening, how will my having been there make a difference in the world that I care about?

* Go to listen – not to talk.

In hearing others, I come to discover more of myself.   What better way to discover my personal biases, limitations, judgements or filters, than to expose myself to all that moves inside ME, in the presence of others.  As I listen and engage, I stay mindful of what’s happening inside of ME rather than detach from myself and seek to consider how I am being perceived/evaluated/judged by others:  ”Do I look good?  Am I doing it right?  Are they impressed with me?  Do I stand out as a cut-above my competition? “

* It’s not a numbers game.

How many groups I sign up for is not a measure of my ability to be successful at my job/business/life.  I am selective about where I want to spend my precious time.  I talk to people who already attend; look back over their events list and then, I look around and ask:  Is this who I want to become?  Does this collective represent that which I aspire to express in my world?  Not good/bad, right/wrong… just a deeply personal and relevant enquiry.  Then, I choose and engage.

* Listen for those who are searching.

I don’t need to have the answers – I just need to be willing to stay in the discomfort of the questions, as those around me slowly (and often, cautiously) reveal the places where their challenges lie.  For most of us, we know we’re capable – we just don’t always want to have to go it alone.

*  If I’m not eager to be there, don’t go!

I don’t sign up until I’ve been on the floor a couple of times for the dance.  There’s nothing worse than being part of a group because I think it’s the ‘right’ thing to do; or because I’ve already paid and ‘want my money’s worth’.  If I’m not looking forward to each opportunity to engage, I’m in the wrong place.   I walk away when it does not call to me , no matter how many others are going there.  I seek to be myself, and choose accordingly.

I no longer go to ‘network’ – I go to enrich my life; to be in the good company of other women who share a passion for the underlying values of ‘being’, recognizing  work/business as a natural conduit for its expression.  I seek to engage with others in discovering just how good our lives can be.  In that shared exploration, I get to meet and spend time with so many different women, each of whom contributes greatly to my own evolution – as a person, as an entrepreneur and as a woman.  From that natural order of connection and rapport, all else falls into place.

For myself, I discovered the Company of Women (Ottawa Chapter) three years ago and have slowly inched my way into engaging regularly and meaningfully with this growing collective.  I know the power of women in collective – I’ve been working with women for more than 20 years.  And beyond that, I am coming to know – personally, viscerally and unapologetically – the power of women in a non-competitive business collective; creating a low-to-the-ground web of interconnecting points of light, recognizing that when the web vibrates, we all awaken to the ‘more’ of us that awaits!

I eagerly anticipate the next opportunity to connect!  And when I get into my car and head out to a dinner or a breakfast meeting, I look forward to being there… and when I arrive, I quickly recognize in the faces of others,  so are they.  In that moment, I know I’ve chosen well.

Catching Up to MySelf

I just realized that my last posting here was July 5th.  Four days later, my 86YO mother fell and broke her hip… and my life changed.

Exactly one week later, my teenage step-daughter was taken to the hospital in a coma, where she remained so for 12 days.  An extensive stay in intensive care led to what now, may likely be a long and slow recovery.

And through it all, life as I knew it, disappeared.

Here I am – almost three months later – and I am noticing that I am filled with gratitude and appreciation for the creativity of so many, in my life; and the Creative Force is streaming through me in ways that I can barely track, let alone capture and define!  Flashes of possibility stream through my awareness – and I know that every single one is a possible world/reality that beckons.  I know that the coming months will be filled with new insights, discoveries and creations – all of which I will share with you.

How could that be?  How could it be that something so drastic and definitive as the full-time and essential requirement to redirect my attention to another could, ultimately, lead to such a surge of Life within myself?

How could it be that removing myself from life, as I knew it, could guide me to something that, in this moment, fills every cell of my being with the intense and inexplicable ‘knowing’ that a new direction is about to reveal itself to me; and from the very different and keenly attuned ‘start point’ that I have now BECOME, life will expand and accelerate, yet again!

In this moment, I am so mindful of all of the science that has filled my life: works of physics and medicine; all the names that you and I may both know so well, like, Bruce Lipton, Deepak Chopra, Candace Pert, Michio Kaku, Pribram, Chilton-Pearce to name but a tiny few!  Decades of reading, watching, attending, listening, exploring, testing, attempting!    I am so grateful for all of the amazing discoveries of these gifted and compelling seekers and finders.

I am also intensely mindful of the somewhat less lauded journeys of those who brought to me the potential of magic, for myself, in my life.  The weird and wonderful works of the likes of Ramtha and Seth; channelled works of Bartholomew, Cayce and others.  Perhaps the one who stands out most in my personal experience is Lynn V. Andrews – the prolific and compelling author of Medicine Woman, The Power Deck and all that followed.  From those of science, I learned about my world.  From Lynn, I discovered how to trust… and allow myself to BE the compelling and powerful woman that I AM.  To this day, she continues to show the way for so many women who are committed to reclaiming and redefining themselves.

From the scientists, I came to know.  From Lynn Andrews, I came to BE.   I know that both have been necessary.

Now, I stand at a gateway of some kind.  I know that all I have already known; and all I have already come to ‘be’, are no longer ‘enough’.  It is not that I am less, it is that in having become more, I am at a new launching point into my own discovery.

The body of knowledge of WEL-Systems® is comprehensive, proven and easily engaged by others.  There is a vast and easily accessible range of books, CD’s, audio files, articles, blogs etc… that invites and guides those who are drawn to discover.

The ever-expanding community of enlivened, awakened and powerful women who are at the very core of this wave of human evolution are, without exception, women of RIG… of Respect, Integrity and Generosity of Spirit, for Self and other.  Their willingness and ability to move beyond seeking and into the moment of being willing to be found by their own greater inner truth and intention, is without question.  Their courage is matched by their humour, compassion and depth of caring.  I am grateful for every one!

For me, this place has become the launching point for the next.  What will that be?  I have not a clue… and yet, I am ready, willing and eager to entertain its potential.  I know there is nothing for me to do but breathe… let go.. invite.. and allow myself to be taken where it will go.

Internal referencing is the key.  This one, single, solitary knowable ‘truth’ (as truth goes!)  transforms lives.  The dotted line of the Quantum Biological Human™: once you know it’s there, there is no going back!  It will also transform our world.

It’s good to be awake and alive!

Breathing is good….

Women, Breast Cancer, Food and Men

The entangled threads of my own thoughts tug at notions of women and leadership; women and breast cancer; the need women seem to have to apologize when not agreeing or when finding something lacking; food and its stranglehold on women and their bodies; and last, but most definitely not least, women and men. Were these neatly laid out in some pattern or framework, it would be much easier for me to collect my thoughts, one leading nicely to the next, formed in reason and supported by an obvious logic…..but such is not the case.

It is so much easier inside myself when that neat, logical pathway is there. I can feel confident and comfortable in the tidiness that logic seems to bring to a natural organization of information. However, what moves inside me does not feel like it will lead to answers. It feels much more like pieces of questions that, if asked, will somehow peel away to reveal the much larger, far more important question that is the underpinning of the chaos in my own mind – and THAT will bring some kind of relief by allowing a ‘truth’ to become identifiable so that I can say ‘Ah, yes! There it is! That’s what it’s about!”

Yet, while I ponder how best to proceed, it all just sits there like a large meal taking far too long to digest.

And so it begins with women.

Women. We are an interesting specimen, indeed. We know we are more…we know we want more…and yet we seem so unwilling to just take! We want, but even more we want to be invited to take. Permission given by other than self, that we may be our Self.  Strange notion, indeed!

Add to that the need to include everybody. The need to make sure that others are ok with our desire/need/want to take…even when permission is granted…unable to be/have more than anyone else without ensuring that we have at least, invited and tended to.

Women and men. Our apparent need to find ways to ensure that we do not imply (how dare we!) that we must move forward on our own. That at this time in the world, the vast majority of men will not engage differently because they cannot engage differently! In this moment, far more than not have been taken hostage by their own history and their genetics and over time, they have created eyes that can no longer see. Even though women can see, it is as if we feel the need to apologize for that and be sure to hold tight to the arm of men and insist – despite evidence to the contrary – that so can they.

Breast cancer. It’s not going away. Not only is it not going away, it’s spreading around the world. Glancing through recent observations on screen and in print , it’s clear that there is much more to say about it. However, MY body tells me that there is an urgent need to pay attention. I don’t need anyone else to tell me that.

Women and their bodies. Food. Body. Connected and yet, one not really having much to do with the other. Body shape. Body size. Body mass – or lack thereof. Food as salve. Food as punishment. Food as temporary memory loss. Food as distraction. Food as a way of purging ourselves of the truth of our own lives. Food as the cork in the bottle of our own outpouring of rage. Just how much of it has nothing to do with staying alive…staying well….and has so much more to do with acting out what we dare not engage directly?

And how are they all connected? Because I know they are…

I know that women and our (un)willingness to lead has something to do with men.

I know that women and our need to apologize when we see what they do not, has something to do with men.

I know that women and breast cancer has something to do with men.

I know that women and food and our bodies has something to do with men.

Does that mean it’s about men? It can be – and much more, it’s about women. About how we abandon ourselves. How we pull in and make ourselves small. How we hold our breath so that we cannot be found. How we make ourselves crazy by knowing we are so much more and yet can’t seem to bring ourselves up to our full measure in the event that we tower over another. How we shuffle along, stooped with head down, as we carry on our backs the myths of the obligations and responsibilities that have long defined our purpose in the culture, crippling ourselves in the process and exhausting ourselves on the journey when we have barely begun.

Although it feels like a paradox, here’s what I believe: men don’t need me to take care of them or tend to them or make excuses for them. What men need from me is for me to be real; to claim what I see and engage; to move in the direction and with the speed that is who I am and not be less in my misguided need to coddle them. They don’t need it! They are very much up to reclaiming their own lost territory of Self! And when I do make myself less from my desire to be ‘caring’ and ‘compassionate’ and ‘considerate’, I sabotage it all by losing momentum and focus, and getting stuck in the morass of ‘what is’ when all that ‘could be’ fades into my habits of being. Perhaps we need to redefine caring, compassionate and considerate so that we can give without being consumed.

Women are dying. And men are dying, too. In body and in spirit. Losing interest in living the lives that we have because we cannot give ourselves permission to create the lives that we want.

If women do not break free from the very habits of culture that have taught them to be grateful for their bondage, there is no hope for the men, either. Women MUST make this journey alone and in the company of each other. I walk my path alone – no one can walk it for me – and when I look right and left, I see other women walking their path, alone.

On this trek, there is neither time nor place to carry another. It is up to women to find a new place to stand and take on the shaping and the creating. We must leave base camp and head up the mountain, becoming willing to make the climb on our own, facing its treacherous terrain and inclement weather. Are we up to it?

This is not an easy thing to do since we know that men have been making this climb for generations. “They know so much more about it! They have maps and signposts and tools! Maybe we can bring them with us so that we don’t get lost!” And in doing so, we will only go where they have already gone – and that will not serve any of us.

I have sons. I have a life partner. I have a brother. I have a father. I love them all – and I am responsible for none of them. My sons are their own unique presence and will shape their lives as they see fit. So will my partner and my brother and my father. Regardless of what I think they can be or should be, they define their lives. And the lives they define, I take no responsibility for. It is THIS approach that keeps us all vibrant and strong – and not necessarily in agreement! Individuals choosing to be in a collective, rather than a collective that demands surrender to its lowest common denominator.

The men in my life – the ones I live with and the ones that I have worked with – know that I do not look to them to save me, or carry me or fix it for me or guide me. What they do know is that I am both willing and able to stand alone; and I am also both willing and able to stand beside them and with them as they engage their own journey. I am formidable and do not apologize for it.

Sometimes, it is not about being equal. It is not about more or less. It is about emerging into the unique expression of who I am without self-imposed limitations. After all, if there are no ‘others’ handicapping my creations, my outcomes are truly my own. Lost to me is the possibility of making someone else responsible for what I create and in that,  I am left to face myself.

Women and Business

I’ve noticed that my interests are all over the map!  It is less knowing what moves me and more about discovering ‘what else’ might move me, into action or the desire to engage in some way.

Recently, Anne Day, Founder of the Company of Women, posted her opening remarks in the latest Newsletter… which led me to discover something about myself, as a business person.  I then shared these thoughts with some of the business women with whom I engage, which prompted further exploration from Sheila Winter Wallace of BodyGateways.  These thoughts and expressions of intention feel important to me, and so I share them with you.

If they touch something inside you, you may want to check out Sheila’s Facebook Group on ‘Entrepreneurial Women in Powerful Conversations‘ and join in.  With many voices and choices, we could offer a new perspective on an old way of doing things!

As always, your comments are welcome.

My comments:

Let me begin by noting that ‘business’ is a nominalization; a label that we put on something (and it may well be different for us all!) that becomes a short-hand expression intended to facilitate communication and intention.  In truth, that it is so, more often than not can lead to confusion and feelings of failure and inadequacy rather than the celebration of a life fully lived!  Women, in particular, know intuitively this truth.  Is it the size of my business that matters?  Or is it the magnitude of gratification that I experience that spells failure or success?

I started my business in 1990.  Over the last two decades, it has been the conduit for the quality of life that has fed me – body, mind and soul – as well as nurtured my now-adult children.  It has been my gateway to discover who I have been capable of becoming, while making a practical difference in my world and a contribution to the lives of the people I care about.

Over the last 20 years, I have watched it grow and expand.  Were I to identify more specifically how that growth took place, it would not be most accurately reflected in the ‘standard’ metrics of numbers (i.e. clients, dollars and cents, etc. ) but in a more elusive and difficult-to-calibrate  one of ‘metamorphosis’ – an essential yet often overlooked requirement of transformation of a business through the evolution of the ‘self’.

Banks and other outside lenders tend not to be ‘attuned’ to such metrics, often overlooking a committed, creative and ingenious business woman for one that is more ‘traditional’ (i.e. numbers) in her considerations/measures of her world.  That is not to say that numbers are irrelevant – and it is to say that they are not the only testament to one’s creative presence; and its impact/expression in the world.

In my experience for the last 20+ years, I have become mindful that I do not seek to create a monolithic structure that towers over all around it and emanates from the core.  My own evolution has resulted in the desire to ‘grow’ through the creation of a web of interconnected ‘points of light’ (other business women) in a non-competitive business model, for impact.  This low-to-the-ground and accessible (i.e. anyone can be part of it) structure is inclusive and invitational, rather than exclusive with performance measurements to qualify for participation.  It is a mode that is both launched from and fed through dissemination of information/education both to and for the business women as well as their clients.  We do not hold our own needs as separate from those of our clients.

Perhaps women have been perceived to be ‘risk averse’ for very good reasons – most of which having nothing to do with traditional metrics.  In my experience of working with other business women, it is not that we do not want to succeed, or have an impact, or make a difference; or create an abundant and sustainable life – it is that we want that sustainable life to be meaningful; to weave easily into an overall quality of life; and to be a conduit for our own evolution and growth, ensuring that I am nurtured by my business process rather than creating one that feeds off my entrails.   And as far as I know, the banks and those who set the ‘standards’ for what constitutes a ‘successful’ business have not yet found the metrics to calibrate for ‘meaningful’.  Fortunately, women have and are carving out these paths, for themselves.

I look around me and I see women – both now and with the intention of – creating businesses that are a reflection of that which is authentically meaningful to them; and as such, are becoming conduits for social change.  Not that they set out to create that social change – it is simply a natural by-product of having created something that was true, to and for them.

Perhaps we would be well-served to trust ourselves outside the box of historical thinking about business and do it the way it feels right, to us.

Sheila’s thoughts:

Thanks for sharing this, Louise. I believe it says it all. For me, it has been a long time coming to and arriving at this place of meaning for and sustaining of mySelf; I am now realizing the impact of simply being mySelf and giving voice to what is meaningful and to what does sustain me… and I keep choosing to be in that place of realization. I keep arriving in every moment; it is a pretty sweet place to be.

Yes, in my holographic universe, my metrics, now, for ‘business’ are different… and they can only be measured by how I feel inside, in being fully me, living my life. Traditional metrics only serve me, now, as guide posts to better decisions that I choose to make for mySelf… not as the deal-makers/deal-breakers, in and of themselves, that used to be true in my world. The 24 months leading up to this new acceptance were undeniably chaotic for me… after 30 years of both conscious and unconscious modelling of parents who were self-employed and another 35 years of self-employment, mySelf.

I don’t know that the ‘banks and outside lenders’ of old will ever consider the new metrics of which you speak. It won’t matter. There will still be those who will, when the final financial fall is complete and if they are still alive, be running around looking for the old gauges by which to measure… ‘what’? Those old gauges and the ‘what’ will be gone,  permanently extinct.

Some of us, the world over, now, are waking up. Some of us, I believe, are realizing that there is a difference between rescue and assistance… the first insults, profiles and renders others as indistinct, unremarkable and incapable in the tyranny of not that… the latter respects, supports and potentiates others as remarkable, capable and unique. All we need to do is to look at the resulting evidence, the consequences, of our choices.

The monolith is a metaphor for the disconnect of ourselves (small ‘s’) from ourSelves (capital ‘S’) and our disassociation from each other. On the other hand, the low-to-the-ground, accessible web of interconnecting points of light is the metaphor for our undeniable connection of ourselves (small ‘s’) to ourSelves (captial ‘S’) and our distinctive associations to each other. In these natural associations, ‘competition’ knows no language, no vocabulary.

I guess my metric – and the only one that counts as the feed for me manifesting my life – is my own Self-trust; that is, ultimately, what determines the quality of my own life – by me, for me.

As we are now witnessing in Tunisia, Egypt and Jordan, there is a rising up of souls, coming together, in reclamation of their lives and personal dignity. In collective, these souls can each know personal autonomy and the Self-respect that evolves itself in that.

The weather pundits are speaking to another storm, this day and tomorrow, of potentially historical proportions. The weather is rising up. Gaia is rising up; I see it in her volcanic eruptions, her melting ice flows, her tsunamis, her earthquakes, her disappearing lands… her earth is rising up, her fire is rising up, her air is rising up, her water is rising up. Impact. I, too, AM rising up… in RIIG – respect, integrity, impact and generosity of spirit – as Ancient Space that Awakens and Provokes the Sacred. I have no more need or desire to hide from mySelf. Hiding breeds competition and disconnect. Visibility encourages connection; in that, eternally and internally, lives the question, ‘Who else?’

In that, all competition dissolves.

Such metrics know no equivalence, no calcualtion, in the language of traditional measurements. They can’t. Only I can measure the God Force that I AM… and, LOL, she is immeasurable.

Consider where YOU stand, as you engage your business in a meaningfully sustainable way.  What say you?

Breathing is good….

Women Gathering in small groups, talking….

I was visiting the WGGG (Women Gathering Google Group) today and was reminded of this recording from earlier in 2010.  As I listened, I heard new things – not because they’re new but because I am.

Women’s Voices – Women’s Choices is a testament to the simplicity of the power of women.  Maybe you’ll find something new, for you, too.

 

 

A Meaningfully Sustainable Life/World

It’s been an incredible few weeks.  Lots of ‘stuff’ going on; so much creativity and innovation; so many new ideas, projects, conversations, programs, experiences, etc. coming into expression, leaving me breathless with the potential revealed… ready and waiting for me to engage the next wave!  Does it get any better than this?

Last week, I spent two days in exploration with three other women, in a beautiful and enriching environment that fed body, mind and spirit.  I discovered words for what has been sitting inside me, for so long.

This past week-end, I spent my days with the women who have self-selected to be WEL-Systems Institute Affiliates, in what I know has been a powerful and profoundly accelerating conversation for us all.

I have always had new thoughts and ideas emerge from the tissue of my being.  Mine was never the challenge of not knowing how else to live – it was always more about the limitations of hours in a day to live that large!   In the last two weeks, I have found a higher-order platform from which to look out across my expanding and burgeoning life… and world.

Now, I know without a doubt, that I am here to create a meaningfully sustainable life.  Mine is not to create and grow a monolithic life (i.e. business, world, etc.) but one that is much closer to the ground… and far more accessible… as it weaves its way through my ever-expanding world.  Mine is to create a life/world whose very essence is growth; grounded in a living, organic and ever-changing wave of as-yet unmet potential, always beckoning to the ‘more’ that lies in wait.

My intention is to create… to BE the expression of this living creation… of a meaningfully sustainable life/world.

My direction is to weave and expand and interconnect… seeking to call to and awaken those other  Self-emanating STARS… those points of Light, both willing and able to reach out and touch,  willing to be touched… that we may create this living, organic web large enough.. and visible enough!… that others who choose to, may be able to engage.

My process follows the reliable stepping stones that lead me to that gateway… to mySelf; those same stepping stones that thousands have now followed, that they may return to themselves (the WEL-Systems® body of knowledge).

Recently, the Company of Women opened a line of discussion about:  Why are Women-Owned Companies Smaller than Men-Owned Companies?  Below, I share what I wrote.

Thank you for your work and for the opportunity to share my thoughts on this topic.

When I first read the presenting question, I actually heard it inside myself as : “Why don’t women build companies as big as the ones men build?” (all my own inner dialogue and translation, of course… And to that thought, my response was: why would I want to?

My business is now 20 years old… and expanding. Note that I did not say ‘growing’. I think of it this way: my interest is in having my ‘business’ be a reflection of what matters to me in my life. For that reason, I am seeking to create a meaningfully sustainable world – which happens to include my work; and in so doing, to create that world large enough to make it possible for others to step into it and engage with me.

For me, that requires creating a business that is non-monolythic in nature (which I believe men-owned… and many women-owned.. business are); and what I seek to create is more in alignment with a series of inter-connecting webs. As a result my business does not grow up and stand out.. it grows out and low to the ground (where so many others can participate in it) and yet, holds the potential to encompass the planet.

It also requires creating something that makes room for and recognizes that each of the points for interconnecting threads is in truth, what holds the web together. As strong as the threads may be, without those unique interconnecting points, they will not hold.

So… in short… size is in the eye of the beholder and is not always evident.

Meaningfully sustainable. Low-to-the-ground interconnecting webs that can encompass the planet; with lots of room for others to access and become part of, without losing their individuality.

Thanks! I appreciate the invitation to put words to my own life!

In this moment, it is as if my eyes have opened to a new world of my own choosing and design. More than ever,  I know that it is not about how or what others perceive, but my own perception.  It is not about my time, it’s about my life.  And it is indeed, about how I perceive my life and this simple question:  how good am I willing to have it???

There is so much more to come!  And as much as I know that the culling has begun, I also know that the future invites us to create the world we know as possible.  Not next week… next month… next year – but  now.

It is as simple as opening my eyes.  And no matter how much I care; no matter how much I have the desire to help and support and contribute, I cannot tell you how to open yours.  That you must do, by yourself and in your own time… AND it does not require that I keep mine shut until you do.

Breathing is good…

(Visit  Scorecards for related post.)

Sacred Space in Cyberspace

Slightly more than 18 months have passed since I had the urge to create the Women Gathering Google Group – a place for women to dare to be themselves, for its own sake, regardless of who may see.  Over these 18 months, I have laughed, cried, grieved, celebrated and delighted in the presence of those – most unknown to me, personally – who have chosen to show up, be themselves and share the truth of their experience ABOUT THEMSELVES with any who choose to read/listen.

In truth, I can’t say what the impact has been for those who go there.  What I can say, without hesitation, is that the impact on me has been to propel me forward, seeking to discover, claim and become the living expression of more and more of mySelf!… and for that, I ever-expanding.

Below are the thoughts that I shared today with the women of WGGG.  I share with all of you as an invitation to explore, discover and ultimately express… and engage!… in sharing yourSelf out loud, with the world.

When I think back to my original intention that led to the creation of this space, I had no idea how it would actually take shape, unfold and manifest that intention.  Now, some 18 months later, I know that what lives here… in the authentic expressions of the women who write; and in the regular presence of those who come to read…. has become an expression of the Sacred in ways that would not fit easily into predetermined frameworks, practices or techniques.

This Sacred Space is so because YOU have made it so!  Your unique, individual and ever-changing authentic presence has filled this place with the Life Force that seeks the freedom to simply be itSelf.  Your willingness to decloak has been the invitation to others to decloak, in their own lives, to themselves and to others, forever changing who they are and how they choose to live.  Your courage and curiosity; your humour, compassion and unrelenting pursuit of yourSelf; and your insight, wisdom and desire to become the ‘more’ that you already know yourSelf to be, have come together in this place to make it safe for women to be themselves, for its own sake.

So many of us are who we believe we should be… or must be!… in order to be accepted, valued, desired, etc… in order to be ‘safe’ in some way.  In this place, we all discover that safety is an inside job; and that it begins inside mySelf, being willing to allow myself to know the truth of my own experience, claim it, own it and its digestion BECOME the next layer of expression that so naturally awaits and unfolds.  No struggle. No need for masters, guides, gurus, teachers, mentors, experts, specialists, etc, etc, etc.  No need for the passage of time and the great investment of effort, thinking that these are what produce the outcome we desire.  The simple truth is:  be yourSelf and tell the truth… and in that breath, life changes.

I am grateful – to each of you who comes here to write and/or to read; for your willingness to trust yourSelf and engage, here, in some meaningful way for yourSelf; and for trusting your fear and allowing it to become the platform for your next, greatest discovery about yourSelf.  Fire is the element of transformation and without it, we would be trapped in the slow and cumbersome drudgery of living a life of seeking and never finding.  As I read all that you write, I know one thing for sure:  THAT is NOT who you are choosing to be!

As I engage with women in my life, I share with them the palpable presence of all of you here; and the profoundly life-altering vibration of those who are choosing to engage with me on my radio show (WEL-Systems.com/radio).  Vibration!  Acceleration!  It is never what we say or write, it is who we are BEING as we say and/or write.  Each of you is the evidence of this, in this place.

I read every word you write.  I come to know you through your words and – gift that you are to me! – I come to know more of mySelf because you are willing to be present to me.  Thank you for the Light that you are in my life, in this Sacred Space and in this world.

Breathing is good….

Aloha and a hug to all!

Women Gathering Google Group

Scorecards

It’s been a long time since I’ve considered the notion of ‘keeping score’… maybe because now, the games I play are intended exclusively for my own accelerated evolution, and not much else!   Is that a good thing?  A bad thing?  I have no idea – I only know that I love being me.  I think that’s a clue.

A couple of weeks ago, I was reminded of the notion of money as a scorecard… a way of measuring performance and the scale used to assess that performance.  There was a time when that would have mattered to me and this time, I was a little startled by it all.  It’s been a long time since I’ve lived that way.

Nonetheless, it proved to be a very valuable moment for me as I pondered the notion of scorecards; how many different kinds there might be; and what would mine be today, if I were to name one.   I really did have to invest myself in the exploration and ponder what words I might choose to best express what is relevant in my life.

My first thought was that what gets me out of bed in the morning is the thought of living a meaningful life.  Without that, I’d just as soon draw my last breath and call it a day!  And since I’m still here… and still breathing… I’m clear that’s happening in my life.

The next question then becomes:  what gives my life meaning?  And the word ‘impact’ popped to mind.  Living a meaningful live requires that my presence have impact; that I can calibrate for impact.  Initially – in the early stages of creating this body of knowledge – impact was measured in raised eyebrows, growing curiosity and willingness to explore the unknown.  Over time, the notion of ‘impact’ moved to ‘depth of impact’… meaning (for me) that it was no longer enough to raise eyebrows and arouse curiosity – lives had to change, profoundly.  And indeed, that has been my life for the past 20 years.  Lives have changed profoundly , with magic and miracles of personal evolution, expanded capacity for connection, disappearance of disease and explosions of health and wellbeing, etc. etc. etc.

Now… today… I come to realize that ‘impact’ has morphed yet again from ‘depth of impact’ to ‘scope of impact’.  A new layer!!!  A discovery that has brought an increased flow of ‘energy’ into the tissue of my being; in addition to a great mindfulness of what, precisely, ‘scope’ will mean for me.  I continue to stay present to that exploration and move forward into yet another explosion of accelerated evolution.  I do indeed, love being me!

So, here’s where I now stand with regard to the notion of ‘scorecard’:

* many of us are handed a scorecard as we grow up, being told that this is the one that we must use to assess performance and from which we determine ‘success’ or our capacity to ‘measure up’.  Regardless of whether or not you measure up, when was the last time you stopped… and asked yourself… “Does this scorecard connect to anything meaningful for me, in my life?”  If not, you might want to consider a different scorecard.

* money – and its presence/absence and accumulation/loss – is often the fundamental scorecard we’re offered when growing up.  Not necessarily because we’re told directly (and many of us are!) that it is the meaningful measure, but because we see it all around us, permeating all that we see and hear.  That’s not good/bad, right/wrong – the question is : does this scorecard allow you to live a meaningful life?

* there are many from which to choose, if we notice.  Ask yourself:  ”If I were living a meaningful life, how would I recognize it? ”  What would be present – every day when you opened your eyes and swung your feet onto the floor; in your interactions with others; and in your sense of your Self and the degree to which you love being you???

Scorecards are an interesting notion, as they give us a way of paying attention to what beliefs, values and attitudes are shaping our reality.  You might want to stop… take a breath… and pay attention to what is shaping yours.  Better to do so now, than to just keep on truckin’ and ignore it all for another 10 years and wonder:  where did my life go????

Breathing is good….

Losing Faith in Organized Religion

Once again, allegations of institutionalized child abuse perpetrated by the clergy of the Catholic Church fill the news. This time, Europe is awakening to what we for all too long have not wanted to see or hear or know as a truth in our own experiences:  we are a species that cannibalizes our young.

I’ve written about this in many other times and spaces.  It is never far from my awareness because of the nature of the work I do.  My life is filled with competent, resourceful and successful adults who still carry the scars – and sometimes, festering wounds – from times long-ago that rest  just below the surface of their enviable lives.

For more than 25 years, I’ve been working with adults whose lives have been deeply, deeply scarred by their experiences of being children.  Far beyond the notion of being prey to some dark and faceless presence that leaps out of the bushes and steals them away, children’s greatest harm is far too often at the hands of those supposedly charged with their greatest of care: parents, babysitters, teachers, pediatricians, school principals, doctors, choir masters, police officers, social workers, family friends, cousins,  aunts and uncles, sports coaches, siblings, therapists… and on and on the list goes.

Men and women, wearing the mantle of our sacred trust (see the list above) have become ‘untouchable’; sit beyond the reach of our willingness and ability to question their behaviours, their motives and their intentions.  Those dressed in the ‘titles’ of their professions live beyond the boundaries of our reproach; sit, unattainably, beyond the reach of the truth of our own experience.  Where did we learn that because someone has a title (doctor, priest, parent, etc) or a degree (knowledge and accompanying credentials ), their righteous rhetoric trumps the truth of our own experience?

In my time of working with others, I have heard stories that have filled me with a sense of rage and outrage; have left me weeping with my clients; have caused me to wonder at our capacity, as a species, for betrayal and brutality; and have laid out clearly, for me, why our world is in massive, pervasive and intensive decline.  We do indeed, reap what we sow.

And we do indeed, cannibalize our young – if not in body then in mind and spirit.  Indirectly, we let them know by our discomfort and agitation that we do not want to hear what they want to tell us.  Directly, we teach them to be silent and compliant in the face of  heinous violation in order to preserve the veneer of our intact lives.  We tell them no one will care… that speaking will bring the pain of retaliation in body (physical assault and worse) and mind (they will be abandoned, left unloved and disconnected from those they rely on for their very existence).

We strip them of their innocence… their capacity to know intimately and trust unquestioningly the innate genius of who they are… and expect the empty carcass to perform according to external standards we impose.  And impose them, we must, for they have lost their ability to determine them, for themselves.  For this, there is a price.  Innocence lost creates fear and confusion.  Innocence taken produces rage!  Our culture reflects this in its diseases of mind and body; and in our inability to trust – ourselves and/or each other.

Communities are struggling with allegations of organized efforts by pedophiles to take the innocence of our children… and their lives.   Whether these lives are taken physically or emotionally, victims are left to struggle for the rest of their lives with their own dark ghosts and agonizing inner conflict.  What might have been a life lived with potential becomes a life lived in the thick and sticky residue of rage mixed with betrayal and self-loathing.

Over these years of working with so many, I have come to one simple conclusion:  we don’t want to know.  We don’t want to see and hear what our children are telling us.  We don’t want to know the truth that awakens in us – having struggled for so long to make it go away! – when the vibration of the truth of our children causes all to begin to move and sway.  We don’t want to deal with what moves inside of us when we are confronted with the greatest of all challenges – that of having to face that there is no one who will take care of ‘it’ or ‘us’; that it is entirely up to us; and that ours are the voices that must find their sound in an undeniable chorus of “STOP!”

I stopped being a fan of organized religion (of any flavour) by the time I was 17.  Perhaps it was the hypocrisy of pontification by the priest, his boozy breath warming the back of my neck as  he inched himself as close as he dared without arousing suspicion, as well.   Perhaps it was the way the nuns bowed and stepped back, as if being second-class citizens were somehow ‘holy’ and meaningful and a great role model for the young women in their care.  Perhaps it was hearing all the other stories around me… stories like those that now fill the airwaves and newspapers… too many and too frequent to be brushed off with a flip of the hand and dismissed through use of shame and humiliation should you dare to speak.  It is so easy to marginalize a truth that does not match the one we want to hear.

As great as my revulsion is for what is occurring (and has been occurring for generations!) throughout the Catholic Church, their situation is not unique.  A greater and far more damaging and terrifying truth lives in the realization that for far too many,  our own homes are equally if not more dangerous than what has become institutionalized in our communities.

There is no greater sacred trust than that of parenting.  And there is no greater violation than that trust, betrayed.  Where does one hide from that?  Where do we run?

Over the years of working with the amazing people whose paths have crossed my own, I have been astounded at the number of ‘fully functioning’ adults who harbor deep and debilitating secrets; who carry the burden of the great shame that does not belong to them; and who have learned to separate their ‘being’ from their capacity for ‘doing’, that they might find a way to navigate a life long ago taken by those charged to protect.

When working with others, I sometimes have this image that comes to mind.. the image of a large, gleaming and beautiful pond… sunlight dancing off its surface… surrounded by the greenest of grass and abundant life streaming through birdsong and colorful vegetation.  And then, in an instant, it is as if the lid is lifted and what lies beneath the surface is a massive, seething cesspool… dark and filled with the stench of rot and puss and decay.  In that, there is nothing that sustains life.  And in that moment, any remaining illusion I might want to have about the myth of the intact family cannot hold its ground in the face of simple truth, openly told.

In this moment, I am clear:  the greatest of myths of intact families is that of organized religion.  The greatest illusion that we seek to continuously perpetuate is that of sanctity and holiness and sacredness… that of having righteousness and the hand of some god as our great permission to cause others to submit to some will, against the truth of their own experience.  In my world, organized religion is the last bastion of external referencing and one whose time has come to be brought into the light of day to be scrutinized and examined for what it is:  fallible, and often broken, people seeking to be seen to be other than what they are.   Mindless and intergenerational compliance will not change our lives or our world.  Mindful, unique choice – guided by the internal cues of the truth of our own experience – will!

No one is coming.  No one is going to protect us.  As sad and as terrifying as that may be, it really is up to us.  What we need to remember is that we are no longer 3; that ‘mom and dad’ – or their current representation of authority – are themselves often damaged and imperfect; and that the only permission I require to stand tall in the truth of my own experience, is my own.

Breathing is good….