I noticed long ago that moments of passage – like birthdays, anniversaries, etc. – held no meaning for me, despite the value placed on them by the culture in which I live.  Hallmark Moments, all, left me devoid of any need to engage.  What I was mindful of was fully engaging every moment, as it flowed through my being.

These last few months have been very busy, indeed!  Through the passage of this time, moments of great change have directed and redirected the currents of my life in meaningful and profoundly-altering ways.  I breathe… I engage… and I find myself standing in a new place, in a new way.  As I look around, I am aware that I am completely without any sense of destination or path; and that I know only trajectory.  What will be there, in the flow of it presenting, and what I will find at the so-called ‘end’ will all be part of this Great Adventure that is MY life!  I’ll keep you posted…

These last few weeks have been filled with the preparation of a new audio series for ACES – and I’m lovin’ every minute of it!  I get to recapture such amazing and inspirational moments as I listen to these courageous women reclaim their lives – adamant in their commitment to their evolution of Self, no matter what! As I listened, I became aware of an intertwining that was occurring.. a dance between speaker and listener… recognizing that the power of this intimate flow was not in its content but in the design of that Flow, itself.  What follows seeks to capture that moment, within myself, shared with others.  I offer it to you, that you may find something new for yourSelf.

What you are about to listen to is one woman’s journey through her own accelerated evolution.   As you listen, allow yourself to go beyond the content of the words that she’s saying, and listen for the vibration of who she is and, perhaps, has not yet come to know herself to be.

Listen for the sound of her commitment to her own evolution; to her willingness to stay in that tough, tough conversation with herself; and to her unfaltering determination to find that which she seeks.

Listen for the chaos and confusion; for the underlying current of caution and self-preservation; and for the great desire to find a new place to stand!

And perhaps more than all of these, listen for your own evolution in the generosity of her gift to all of us, in her willingness to go first.

Recognizing that if it resonates within you, it lives in you,  listen for the potential in your own evolution if you allow that wave to move, in you.

Recognizing that we are each an expression of the consciousness of another, in living tissue in a material world, allow yourself to be awakened to that which may lie buried… waiting for the voice of another to awaken you to its presence.

And recognizing that we are Beings of Light, designed for transformation in the nano-second of a single breath,  invite what calls to you, inside of you, to be revealed.

It takes courage to be willing to reveal; to move beyond that often dark and lonely inner rumination that goes on and on – sometimes for an entire lifetime! – to become the emanation of a life lived OUT LOUD and in full view!

But it also takes courage to be willing to hear; to stay present – inside yourself, where you live – when another speaks with such raw and visceral longing for herSelf.

It takes courage to relax into yourSelf in the face of another’s reflection of your own vulnerability; in those moments when all that you fear is served up to you, through the vibration of another; and rather than escape – rather than change the subject, move away, become distracted –  you stay present to yourSelf and, through that, with another in that shared exploration of what can feel like a dangerous place.

And when we do; when we find that courage inside ourselves, we move closer to that which we are intended to be.  Something within softens and loosens; and once again, we come to know a greater truth about WHAT we are and why we chose to be here.

It’s not always easy  and it’s not always fun;  and it is, without doubt and hesitation, the most meaningful, sustainable – and effective! – way for us to find our way Home.

Let this one woman’s journey become the invitation to invite and allow your own courage to become the song that sings your Authentic Self into being!

These last three days have found me in the intensive conversations that are the platform for certification as a CODE Model Coach™.  Because CODE Model Coaching™ is not about solving a problem; because it is about using a presenting problem as the start-point to a journey back to reclamation of Self; because it is about ‘being’ and not about ‘doing’, there are no strategies, techniques or practices on which to rely when engaging with self and other/s – there is only the breath in that moment.  How many times have I been here, before?  How many hours have I already spent in these conversations, as the culmination of the hundreds of hours that preceded it?  I’ve lost count – and what I know is, it doesn’t matter.

There is no ‘before’.  There is no vast accumulation of knowledge; or the wisdom that comes of experience.

There is no repertoire of problems solved, challenges met and lives changed.

There is only this moment.  And in this moment, there is everything else.

Strange…. to know that all that has come before is of no relevance.  There is no accumulation of ‘being right’ that I can point to by way of rationalizing the legitimacy of this insight, discovery or outcome, in this moment.  To be sure, that is not what I was told when I was moving toward ‘achieving’ adulthood!  In this thought, I could bore you with a litany of discoveries and accomplishments, none of which would have any value other than to demonstrate how I’ve occupied my time.  What does have value is that I am here… I am connected to something inside me that defies categorization… and I am both willing and able to engage as the creator of my own world.

The question then becomes:  at what level of expression does ‘world’ hold my interest?  Provoke my potential?  Awaken me to the vast and boundless creations of which the I AM that I am, is not only capable but designed and intended?

Perhaps my past has been that I create within existing worlds.  Perhaps my future lies in creating worlds that do not yet exist.  We already know that what is seen is but small measure of the vast field of the Unseen, from which it is sourced.  What if I were to see through new eyes?  What if that vast Unseen were to become my new playground?

What brings my life meaning may not bring meaning to yours.  What causes my life to be sustainable may not be so, for you.  What gets you out of bed in the morning may not even appear on the radar of my life!  And what I know (without a doubt!) really matters, is that it must matter to you.

Whether these make sense or not, they make sense to me and I share them with you:

* My life is a living expression of the Hawaiian alphabet.  With vowels and only 7 consonants, there can be challenges when the same word is used to express many different things!  It is not the word that changes – it is the context that lives inside the person who is doing the listening/expressing.  Internal referencing drives understanding, unique and shared.   What this says to me is that it is the creator within that changes, not the creations themselves.

* What once were the measures of my ‘successful’ life are now subject to this phenomenon of the Hawaiian language.  What once molded and shaped my choices no longer even shape a moment, let alone my life.  I am no longer able to ignore the degree to which the coma of cultural conditioning allows the droning to sustain itself.  What we call ‘culture’ is its own hum… IS the vibrational cue that sustains itself, without challenge.  Culture does not need effort to be  maintained – that is done through history and habit.  What does need effort is the shift in reality that makes it possible for each to awaken to him/herSelf.  THAT will not come from the outside (from the template), in.  It can only be manifested from the inside, out.  How do I awaken to, connect with and engage that which lives, within?

During the last three days, one on this journey with us shared:  “I can see!”  And inside myself, I thought:  I can only see through the eyes of the Seer that I am.  Change the seer, and I see different things.  Perhaps in those much earlier times, it was never that I could not see – it was that I could not allow myself to see what I saw.

Not so long ago, I was mindful that I was getting more and more ‘weird’, by the day!  Today, I know differently.

I know the I AM that I am is here to create my reality; to own the creator that I know mySelf to be; to discover that I am already both willing and able to separate mySelf from my creations and own ‘creator’ as the force… as the presence… that I know mySelf to be.  I knew that as a child – and so did you.  Now, I remember.

And so, my journey continues.  Now that I remember, now what?  As I slide more willingly and naturally and comfortably into that world, I also know myself slipping from the one that is validated as ‘real’.  I sometimes wonder:  if the hum were to cease and we were to awaken from the coma of culture, what then would we do with ourselves?  When the money stops; when the external drivers for ‘success’ stop; when there are no more standards to meet, challenges to overcome, problems to solve and world-views to resist, how will we know we’re alive?  What will we do with ourselves when the measure of our being is no longer set outside of us?

I believe I speak for those present when I say that this last CMC Certification Intensive has awakened ‘creator’ in each of us.  And now, we live.

What an interesting notion:  awakening.  Such is the philosophy and language that permeates so much of what now fills the sounds and sights of information shared, with one’s Self or others.  And I find myself asking:  “Awakening…. to what? And for what purpose?”

Much of what I see linked to on Facebook (and in other  places) holds little to no interest for me.  Perhaps it is that I began this journey when I was 18 and  am now 61; or perhaps it is that I am noticing – far too often – that, like bell bottom pants and sideburns, everything old is new again!  My memory still serves me well; and I recognize old news when I see it.

That I continue to see what was (now long repeated) continue to be without results, leaves me discouraged.  And perhaps that is the underpinning of my discouragement.  I began my journey at 18, seeking my own personal evolution; and for the last 20 years, have done nothing but!  I can honestly say that this journey of personal evolution – the journey of evolution of human consciousness – has filled my every waking moment for more than 40 years.  Because of this, there have been few ‘gaps’ in my journey; few breaks along the way with the usual distractions of daily living.

So, in this moment, I pause and reconsider:  Awakening… to what?

Many have awakened to the need to be more attentive to the physical body; to be more discerning (and mindful) of what foods we eat; of how much sleep we get; of the need to move our body if we are to remain energetic and enlivened.  Diets of one kind or another abound… and yet, I notice even there, what was ‘the thing’ to do five years ago is now questionable (if not lethal) from today’s point of view.

Many have awakened to the need to wake up to what we’re doing with our days!   The idea of ‘balance’ in personal and professional life; the notion of being reasonable in what we give and take in our interactions with others.  Greater consideration of our ‘relationships’ and what those are; what they mean to us; and the parameters we establish for determining what we keep and what we let go of.  Again, pivotal to this level of discovery is the recognition that over time, many of our determinations roll off to the side to be replaced by a newer one.  At least, for a while…

Many have awakened to the recognition that our strategies for living – as individuals, as a local community and as a global community – are no longer working!  We’re depleting the planet of its natural resources, which is bad enough – and we’re doing it in a way that is destroying the very eco-systems on which we rely for our existence!  Just how weird are we beginning to notice we are???  Our strategies for staying fit; for meaningful relationships; and for living effectively in our world, are proving themselves to be wanting in ways that leave us totally confused and unable to even recognize an alternative.  We are awakening to the recognition that something is driving us – and that ‘something’ can no longer take the lead!

Many of us are beginning to awaken to the need to take the long pause and wonder:  who am I?;  and why am I here?  We are beginning to notice that just because someone else is doing it; or just because we’ve been doing it for so long; or just because we had not thought to do otherwise, it does not mean we should just continue until we have a better plan!  We are awakening to our absolute, unquestionable need to STOP!!!!  STOP doing and being all that represents the most habituated, mindless and meaningless about us!  STOP doing things even though no one else has yet told us so.  STOP gliding along, waiting for someone/something outside of ourselves to carve out a new path; or show us a different or better way!  STOP… and be still… and wonder…..

And for many of us, this is the danger zone.  It is the point at which our awakening begins to drift slowly back into a gentle doze… sliding easily into the hazy, grey area of not knowing what else to do instead… or who else to be… and simply choosing to avoid the pain and discomfort of not knowing; and choose not to choose.  The groove of the past remains open and gaping, beckoning for a quick return to a hapless and ultimately, hopeless repetition of what was.

This is the point at which, in our awakened state, we look around and can’t see anything or anyone else ‘out there’ that calls us more fully into… into…. something else that we can learn to do/be.  And so, we slowly begin to curl in our ourselves and into a stupor of  uncertainty – longing for it not to be so and yet, deaf and blind to anything other than the truth of that moment, from one moment to the next.

And repetition and platitudes become the norm.

And yet, in my world, there is another layer of awakening.  There is a layer of awakening that can take us beyond any truth within an old and familiar context; a truth that lies in a much larger, more outrageous context that has long been held as inaccessible to us all.  And that awakening is to myself, as other than what I have been told I am.

Awakening to the possibility that for hundreds of years – possibly more – what I have been told I am, is not only incomplete it is inaccurate.

Awakening to the possibility that the still and outrageous truth within my being; that truth known innately from times long ago, is indeed an absolute truth for us all.

Awakening to the possibility that my destiny does not lie in awakening to all that my human being-ness is able/capable of, but to moving beyond my human being-ness to know that which sources it all.

I know it is time for us all to awaken to the inalienable truth that we are all – each of us – a living godforce in expression in a physical body.  And as the godforce that each of us is, we are creating it all!  How can it be otherwise?  How can godforces NOT create their world?  The challenge becomes:  when I create, am I awake to the power of that truth? Or am I deeply, soundly and unshakeably asleep to it?

What is in question is not that godforces create.  What is in question is whether or not the godforce that I AM creates, mindfully?

I know I am a living godforce in expression in a physical universe – and so are you.

I know that what I hold as truth inside my being will emanate, through my choices, and become my world.

I know that my unwillingness to own that much deeper inner truth – as I capitulate to the so-called external demands/requirements/preferences/etc. of those outside of me – will ultimately be my undoing.  And in that, the messages of that inner truth will not go away.  It will simply become louder and more urgent and more persistent… until I can no longer NOT claim and live from what I know.

Awakening to the ultimate choice within that simple truth -  that I am or I am not a living godforce in a physical universe – redefines my potential.

If I am not, then I am at the mercy of the external references that fill my life; at the mercy of all of the external powers-that-be (i.e. parents, teachers, bosses, experts, rulers, etc.) that seek to define my reality for me.  As we see from all that is moving in our much larger world, this is wearing thin.  We are losing our willingness to simply abdicate from that deeper inner truth and surrender to someone/something else by which to be shaped.

We are losing regard and respect for long-standing institutions that purported to have my/our best interests at heart.  My heart knows best what my best interests require!

As unrest, dis-ease and sheer unwillingness grows around the world – around the planet and in our own back yard! – we cannot help but STOP… and wonder… how else might I choose to live my life, today?

And if I am indeed, a living godforce expressing in a physical universe; and if I begin to awaken to manifestations that become my birthright, my world begins to shift.  Not because I assault it – but because I remove the creative force of my presence from all that I do not desire.  As the breath of my being withdraws, the boundaries of that ‘other’ begin to collapse.  Energy flows where attention goes – and when I shift the force of creation that I AM from one thing to the creation of another, that which was, ceases to be.

So many platitudes!  From one day to the next, I read words intended to be inspirational or motivational… and yet, how much does any given life change?  My personal favourite?   “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience but spiritual beings having a  human experience!”  Then, how does a spiritual being LIVE in a world of flesh and blood?

Choice is indeed, the key.  But what kind of choice?  Choices within the long-held (and erroneous!) belief that we are not what we seek?  Or choices contextualized in a very different ‘truth’; a truth, for generations, fundamentally denied that we might more easily be kept in check.

Awaken to the truth of yourself as living godforce in tissue!

Awaken to the force of your presence… your breath… the vibration of your being; awaken to the power of the vibration of your own voice, not because it’s loud or insistent but because it carries the vibration of your ‘being’ into a material world.

Awaken to the brilliance your body offers as the metronome of your existence; that which keeps the rhythm and the beat of your expressed truth… assessing and measuring and reflecting the alignment of your inner truth with your external creations.

Awaken to your ability to know without content or evidence that you do; to know intuitively and instinctively what you need to say… to ask… to walk away from – and trust it!

The constraints of our own limited thinking are far more binding than any walls could ever be.  The limitations of our own thinking are more detrimental to our wellbeing than the limitations of any other.

We are at a threshold of imminent change.  It is not complicated:  change or die.  But change how?  Change what?  The change we so desperately both require and demand – of ourselves and of each other – is the change from form to energy; from matter to spirit; and from human being to godforce.  These are not incremental.  These will not come in baby steps, one safe move after the other.  These are leaps of our own potential!  They are big and bold; they are out loud and without secret; and they are the paradigm shift that we have now, for so long, so desparatly sought.

Awakening to the truth of WHAT we are will transform our lives.  Anything less, and we stay caught in the recycled web of the time before. It is a choice.

Exactly one week later, my teenage step-daughter was taken to the hospital in a coma, where she remained so for 12 days.  An extensive stay in intensive care led to what now, may likely be a long and slow recovery.

And through it all, life as I knew it, disappeared.

Here I am – almost three months later – and I am noticing that I am filled with gratitude and appreciation for the creativity of so many, in my life; and the Creative Force is streaming through me in ways that I can barely track, let alone capture and define!  Flashes of possibility stream through my awareness – and I know that every single one is a possible world/reality that beckons.  I know that the coming months will be filled with new insights, discoveries and creations – all of which I will share with you.

How could that be?  How could it be that something so drastic and definitive as the full-time and essential requirement to redirect my attention to another could, ultimately, lead to such a surge of Life within myself?

How could it be that removing myself from life, as I knew it, could guide me to something that, in this moment, fills every cell of my being with the intense and inexplicable ‘knowing’ that a new direction is about to reveal itself to me; and from the very different and keenly attuned ‘start point’ that I have now BECOME, life will expand and accelerate, yet again!

In this moment, I am so mindful of all of the science that has filled my life: works of physics and medicine; all the names that you and I may both know so well, like, Bruce Lipton, Deepak Chopra, Candace Pert, Michio Kaku, Pribram, Chilton-Pearce to name but a tiny few!  Decades of reading, watching, attending, listening, exploring, testing, attempting!    I am so grateful for all of the amazing discoveries of these gifted and compelling seekers and finders.

I am also intensely mindful of the somewhat less lauded journeys of those who brought to me the potential of magic, for myself, in my life.  The weird and wonderful works of the likes of Ramtha and Seth; channelled works of Bartholomew, Cayce and others.  Perhaps the one who stands out most in my personal experience is Lynn V. Andrews – the prolific and compelling author of Medicine Woman, The Power Deck and all that followed.  From those of science, I learned about my world.  From Lynn, I discovered how to trust… and allow myself to BE the compelling and powerful woman that I AM.  To this day, she continues to show the way for so many women who are committed to reclaiming and redefining themselves.

From the scientists, I came to know.  From Lynn Andrews, I came to BE.   I know that both have been necessary.

Now, I stand at a gateway of some kind.  I know that all I have already known; and all I have already come to ‘be’, are no longer ‘enough’.  It is not that I am less, it is that in having become more, I am at a new launching point into my own discovery.

The body of knowledge of WEL-Systems® is comprehensive, proven and easily engaged by others.  There is a vast and easily accessible range of books, CD’s, audio files, articles, blogs etc… that invites and guides those who are drawn to discover.

The ever-expanding community of enlivened, awakened and powerful women who are at the very core of this wave of human evolution are, without exception, women of RIG… of Respect, Integrity and Generosity of Spirit, for Self and other.  Their willingness and ability to move beyond seeking and into the moment of being willing to be found by their own greater inner truth and intention, is without question.  Their courage is matched by their humour, compassion and depth of caring.  I am grateful for every one!

For me, this place has become the launching point for the next.  What will that be?  I have not a clue… and yet, I am ready, willing and eager to entertain its potential.  I know there is nothing for me to do but breathe… let go.. invite.. and allow myself to be taken where it will go.

Internal referencing is the key.  This one, single, solitary knowable ‘truth’ (as truth goes!)  transforms lives.  The dotted line of the Quantum Biological Human™: once you know it’s there, there is no going back!  It will also transform our world.

It’s good to be awake and alive!

Breathing is good….

I am so mindful of the deep, urgent and massive desire that exists for an acceleration in the evolution of consciousness of the masses.  The outcomes we are co-creating as a global collective are moving rapidly down a track that will kill us all.  Gaia will be fine… always has been and always will be.  And perhaps I am at the point where that small voice inside me says: change or die.

The kind of change I”m talking about isn’t at the level of my behaviours or strategies for moving through my world.  They are at the level that one might imagine when consciousness is reconsidering itself and its own creations and tiring of the perpetual collapse of one of its designs.  Perhaps we are tiring of the game of being who we have always been…. determing that if there is nothing else, the game may well be done.

I am mindful, on this day, of the Great Adventure of the Evolution of Consciousness and how it wanders through the terrain of the spiritual…or, as I like to refer to it, the White Light and Forgiveness Trail, taken by so many and leading only to one more dead-end in the road.  It is devoid of the process of acquired information coalescing over time into the creation of that which is greater than the sum of its parts.

And then there is the Use Your Head and Forget the Rest Trail…. taken by so many and leading to a different dead-end, that of losing our sense of play and delight in ourselves and our willingness to go out yet one more day and play again!  Along this trail, there is no room for play….nor is there room to know and yet know that in that knowing, there is so much more to be discovered!  It is not an answer that brings closure, it is another step that makes the next one accessible.

Perhaps the least travelled yet most potent of all, is the I AM the Godforce That I Seek Trail… the one that makes it clear that no other is going to rescue us, fix us or fix our world.  Together, we made this mess.  And only together, can we clean it up!

No Big Eye in the Sky is going to look down on us or, better yet, swoop down from on high and lift us out of the misery of our own creation!  And yet, we wait.  We continue to pray – and allow our generations’ old habits continue to run our lives under the label of ‘reality’.  We continue to look to the heavens – and make the same poor-now-becoming-deadly choices that we made last week, last month, last year… last lifetime!  We continue to lament the misery of our world, seeking to find someone – anyone! – to pin it on that we might comfort ourselves in our own resolve to do nothing different… or differently.

I am no scientist.  I have not spent a lifetime studying climate, carbon emissions and the dangerous (to the planet and all of us!) outcomes of this ancient dance.  And I am also no fool.

I can read.  The internet has given me access to articles, submissions, reports, etc.  that do not require a genius IQ to comprehend.

I can see.  I look out my window and I know intimately the changes in my own small corner of the world.  I follow the changes happening in places I love; and I recognize that we’re not in Kansas anymore, Toto!  I will never forget the moment when, after more than 5 trips to Alaska, I found myself weeping at the impossible-not-to-see changes that were rapidly making their way through this stunning beauty.

I trust my instincts.  I know – in that deep and intuitive way – that we are already  well down a path of the destruction of life as we have known it.  I know that death will come in numbers and in waves for which we have no precedent in our ability to comprehend and engage.  And I also know that in that, I am not alone.

And through all of this, the greatest paradox is:  it is as simple as a choice.

During a recent shared meal with my 22-year-old son, I heard him say:  ”You know, Mom, when you were 22, you could look ahead 20 years and know that you’re world would be pretty much the same as it was at that time.  I can’t say that.  I can’t look ahead 5 years and have any sense at all what it will be like.  Between wars and conflicts, melting ice, rising sea levels, bigger storms, drought… and all the things that I don’t even know about, yet!… I know my planet is no longer predictable.”

My son is right.  And how sad it is for me to have to say that.

I choose to make my voice heard!  I hope you’ll choose a way for you to do that, for yourself.

Breathing is good….

Funny, don’t you think?  My very own words come back to me – years later and from the other side of the planet! – that I might find my way back to myself.  In the same breath, I am re-inspired to stay true to my own intentions; and I glide easily, with a silent chuckle, into the recognition of ‘Ah yes… there it is!  The holodeck of my experience manifesting all that I require!’

I love it when I surprise myself!

In the event that these words may be as timely for you as they have been for me, here is what was referenced:

“For all of our intensity for and commitment to the search; for all of our willingness and determination; for all of our research and exploration of the evolution of consciousness and advancement of the species, my suspicion is that our report card would not be very appealing nor compelling as evidence of our capacity to ‘get it’ in a way that allows us to engage differently. We continue to live in a world that appears mindlessly committed to its own demise. Like punching a pillow, just when we think we might have made a difference in one place, we find ourselves bearing witness to another gaping protrusion that has formed itself elsewhere. And on and on it goes, a constant stream of the same problem played out by an endless variety of players, all with the same script. Our willingness, like our hearts, may be in the right place but our ability is lagging pitifully behind.

Like myriad pieces of string rolled into a giant ball, our problems and challenges continue to accumulate and increase in their variety and size, becoming impossible for us not to see. As much as we can discern the color and texture of the threads closest to the surface – planetary upheaval as Gaia manifests her outrage, expressing through increasing density and intensity of earthquakes, hurricanes, tsunamis, mud slides, forest fires; violence toward self and other; decay and collapse at the highest levels of our often decorated and publicly rewarded so-called leadership; political and economic erosion beyond repair; etc. – we continue to be unable to name and claim the ones much closer to the core that allow the ball to maintain its formation. We go about our lives, every cell in our body bathed in and formed by the numbing effects of generations of mindless, habituated thinking, asleep to that which crumbles around us, hoping that someone else will take care of it all. . What will it take to awaken the giants that we are from the intergenerational slumber that has now become a coma? What will it take for us to call up the courage to find out?”

If you’re drawn to read the entire article, you’ll find it at Evolution by Intention: New Beginnings for Weary Souls .

My thanks to Murray Thompson who, quite likely, had not a clue that he was helping me to help myself.  And as I delight in that thought, I wonder what will come next…

Breathing is good!

It is so much easier inside myself when that neat, logical pathway is there. I can feel confident and comfortable in the tidiness that logic seems to bring to a natural organization of information. However, what moves inside me does not feel like it will lead to answers. It feels much more like pieces of questions that, if asked, will somehow peel away to reveal the much larger, far more important question that is the underpinning of the chaos in my own mind – and THAT will bring some kind of relief by allowing a ‘truth’ to become identifiable so that I can say ‘Ah, yes! There it is! That’s what it’s about!”

Yet, while I ponder how best to proceed, it all just sits there like a large meal taking far too long to digest.

And so it begins with women.

Women. We are an interesting specimen, indeed. We know we are more…we know we want more…and yet we seem so unwilling to just take! We want, but even more we want to be invited to take. Permission given by other than self, that we may be our Self.  Strange notion, indeed!

Add to that the need to include everybody. The need to make sure that others are ok with our desire/need/want to take…even when permission is granted…unable to be/have more than anyone else without ensuring that we have at least, invited and tended to.

Women and men. Our apparent need to find ways to ensure that we do not imply (how dare we!) that we must move forward on our own. That at this time in the world, the vast majority of men will not engage differently because they cannot engage differently! In this moment, far more than not have been taken hostage by their own history and their genetics and over time, they have created eyes that can no longer see. Even though women can see, it is as if we feel the need to apologize for that and be sure to hold tight to the arm of men and insist – despite evidence to the contrary – that so can they.

Breast cancer. It’s not going away. Not only is it not going away, it’s spreading around the world. Glancing through recent observations on screen and in print , it’s clear that there is much more to say about it. However, MY body tells me that there is an urgent need to pay attention. I don’t need anyone else to tell me that.

Women and their bodies. Food. Body. Connected and yet, one not really having much to do with the other. Body shape. Body size. Body mass – or lack thereof. Food as salve. Food as punishment. Food as temporary memory loss. Food as distraction. Food as a way of purging ourselves of the truth of our own lives. Food as the cork in the bottle of our own outpouring of rage. Just how much of it has nothing to do with staying alive…staying well….and has so much more to do with acting out what we dare not engage directly?

And how are they all connected? Because I know they are…

I know that women and our (un)willingness to lead has something to do with men.

I know that women and our need to apologize when we see what they do not, has something to do with men.

I know that women and breast cancer has something to do with men.

I know that women and food and our bodies has something to do with men.

Does that mean it’s about men? It can be – and much more, it’s about women. About how we abandon ourselves. How we pull in and make ourselves small. How we hold our breath so that we cannot be found. How we make ourselves crazy by knowing we are so much more and yet can’t seem to bring ourselves up to our full measure in the event that we tower over another. How we shuffle along, stooped with head down, as we carry on our backs the myths of the obligations and responsibilities that have long defined our purpose in the culture, crippling ourselves in the process and exhausting ourselves on the journey when we have barely begun.

Although it feels like a paradox, here’s what I believe: men don’t need me to take care of them or tend to them or make excuses for them. What men need from me is for me to be real; to claim what I see and engage; to move in the direction and with the speed that is who I am and not be less in my misguided need to coddle them. They don’t need it! They are very much up to reclaiming their own lost territory of Self! And when I do make myself less from my desire to be ‘caring’ and ‘compassionate’ and ‘considerate’, I sabotage it all by losing momentum and focus, and getting stuck in the morass of ‘what is’ when all that ‘could be’ fades into my habits of being. Perhaps we need to redefine caring, compassionate and considerate so that we can give without being consumed.

Women are dying. And men are dying, too. In body and in spirit. Losing interest in living the lives that we have because we cannot give ourselves permission to create the lives that we want.

If women do not break free from the very habits of culture that have taught them to be grateful for their bondage, there is no hope for the men, either. Women MUST make this journey alone and in the company of each other. I walk my path alone – no one can walk it for me – and when I look right and left, I see other women walking their path, alone.

On this trek, there is neither time nor place to carry another. It is up to women to find a new place to stand and take on the shaping and the creating. We must leave base camp and head up the mountain, becoming willing to make the climb on our own, facing its treacherous terrain and inclement weather. Are we up to it?

This is not an easy thing to do since we know that men have been making this climb for generations. “They know so much more about it! They have maps and signposts and tools! Maybe we can bring them with us so that we don’t get lost!” And in doing so, we will only go where they have already gone – and that will not serve any of us.

I have sons. I have a life partner. I have a brother. I have a father. I love them all – and I am responsible for none of them. My sons are their own unique presence and will shape their lives as they see fit. So will my partner and my brother and my father. Regardless of what I think they can be or should be, they define their lives. And the lives they define, I take no responsibility for. It is THIS approach that keeps us all vibrant and strong – and not necessarily in agreement! Individuals choosing to be in a collective, rather than a collective that demands surrender to its lowest common denominator.

The men in my life – the ones I live with and the ones that I have worked with – know that I do not look to them to save me, or carry me or fix it for me or guide me. What they do know is that I am both willing and able to stand alone; and I am also both willing and able to stand beside them and with them as they engage their own journey. I am formidable and do not apologize for it.

Sometimes, it is not about being equal. It is not about more or less. It is about emerging into the unique expression of who I am without self-imposed limitations. After all, if there are no ‘others’ handicapping my creations, my outcomes are truly my own. Lost to me is the possibility of making someone else responsible for what I create and in that,  I am left to face myself.

I left my  j-o-b  in the fall of 1990, a few short weeks after realizing that as I turned 40, I only had 25 more years to go until I could retire!  With that thought, my body stiffened and images flashed through my mind of a life lost to my own regret.  In that breath, I chose to live differently.

Fast-forward 20 years and here I stand, living a meaningfully sustainable life.  My life is filled with the great joy of working with women who are seeking to redefine themselves; and choosing to design work/lives that are a reflection of that intention.  I am one of the lucky ones.  My days are filled with conversations and explorations with women who are carving out their own path and attracting to themselves other women seeking to do the same.

Our world is changing – fast, frequently and intensely.  We no longer have the purported luxury of being able to be responsive and reflective in a world that pleads for us to take action and engage!  Ours is no longer a life that can rely on the passage of time and the reliability of the status-quo to see us through our ‘golden years’.  We are past the point of being able to simply evolve as a reaction to what moves outside of us and are now called upon to seek what moves inside of us as a directional signal for our collective futures.

Today, I look forward to being connected to an array of minds and souls, seeking to discover and express the ‘more’ that they already know themselves to be.  Mine is never to determine the destination of another’s life.  Mine is to share my own discoveries as an invitation to a reliable process for making those determinations… each of us, for ourselves.

I am grateful for all of the amazing women I’ve called into my life.  In the space of their courage and curiosity, I continue to find my own.  In their desire to engage and connect, I am invited into an ever-evolving experience of myself, as creator of my own reality.  And with them, the bumps along the way seem only to be yet another invitation to delight in the new experiences they invite.  And here’s what I invite you to notice: women shape culture.  As the birth-givers and care-takers, our influence is profound and deeply rooted in being the first ‘sound’ that moves inside those arriving into this reality.  That truth carries forward and expresses through all that we do , including creating our work/life experiences.  We have what it takes to create businesses that become conduits for the evolution of culture.  All we need do is bring voice outside to the flow of what moves, inside… and the rest takes care of itself.

If you’re joining me today on the Success Institute event, know that as you journey through and into your own creations, you are in the very best of company.  I know, I am.

Breathing is good….

Recently, Anne Day, Founder of the Company of Women, posted her opening remarks in the latest Newsletter… which led me to discover something about myself, as a business person.  I then shared these thoughts with some of the business women with whom I engage, which prompted further exploration from Sheila Winter Wallace of BodyGateways.  These thoughts and expressions of intention feel important to me, and so I share them with you.

If they touch something inside you, you may want to check out Sheila’s Facebook Group on ‘Entrepreneurial Women in Powerful Conversations‘ and join in.  With many voices and choices, we could offer a new perspective on an old way of doing things!

As always, your comments are welcome.

My comments:

I started my business in 1990.  Over the last two decades, it has been the conduit for the quality of life that has fed me – body, mind and soul – as well as nurtured my now-adult children.  It has been my gateway to discover who I have been capable of becoming, while making a practical difference in my world and a contribution to the lives of the people I care about.

Over the last 20 years, I have watched it grow and expand.  Were I to identify more specifically how that growth took place, it would not be most accurately reflected in the ‘standard’ metrics of numbers (i.e. clients, dollars and cents, etc. ) but in a more elusive and difficult-to-calibrate  one of ‘metamorphosis’ – an essential yet often overlooked requirement of transformation of a business through the evolution of the ‘self’.

Banks and other outside lenders tend not to be ‘attuned’ to such metrics, often overlooking a committed, creative and ingenious business woman for one that is more ‘traditional’ (i.e. numbers) in her considerations/measures of her world.  That is not to say that numbers are irrelevant – and it is to say that they are not the only testament to one’s creative presence; and its impact/expression in the world.

In my experience for the last 20+ years, I have become mindful that I do not seek to create a monolithic structure that towers over all around it and emanates from the core.  My own evolution has resulted in the desire to ‘grow’ through the creation of a web of interconnected ‘points of light’ (other business women) in a non-competitive business model, for impact.  This low-to-the-ground and accessible (i.e. anyone can be part of it) structure is inclusive and invitational, rather than exclusive with performance measurements to qualify for participation.  It is a mode that is both launched from and fed through dissemination of information/education both to and for the business women as well as their clients.  We do not hold our own needs as separate from those of our clients.

Perhaps women have been perceived to be ‘risk averse’ for very good reasons – most of which having nothing to do with traditional metrics.  In my experience of working with other business women, it is not that we do not want to succeed, or have an impact, or make a difference; or create an abundant and sustainable life – it is that we want that sustainable life to be meaningful; to weave easily into an overall quality of life; and to be a conduit for our own evolution and growth, ensuring that I am nurtured by my business process rather than creating one that feeds off my entrails.   And as far as I know, the banks and those who set the ‘standards’ for what constitutes a ‘successful’ business have not yet found the metrics to calibrate for ‘meaningful’.  Fortunately, women have and are carving out these paths, for themselves.

I look around me and I see women – both now and with the intention of – creating businesses that are a reflection of that which is authentically meaningful to them; and as such, are becoming conduits for social change.  Not that they set out to create that social change – it is simply a natural by-product of having created something that was true, to and for them.

Perhaps we would be well-served to trust ourselves outside the box of historical thinking about business and do it the way it feels right, to us.

Sheila’s thoughts:

Thanks for sharing this, Louise. I believe it says it all. For me, it has been a long time coming to and arriving at this place of meaning for and sustaining of mySelf; I am now realizing the impact of simply being mySelf and giving voice to what is meaningful and to what does sustain me… and I keep choosing to be in that place of realization. I keep arriving in every moment; it is a pretty sweet place to be.

Women’s Voices – Women’s Choices is a testament to the simplicity of the power of women.  Maybe you’ll find something new, for you, too.