How presumptuous of me : to think that I have figured out the meaning of life. And yet, to be sure, I have figured it out for mySelf.
Things change. There was a time when I was driven by a bottomless well of caring that my potential, and yours… as human beings… was given the chance to be fully expressed. In that, I felt it was both meaningful and important – for me and potentially, for others – to engage, explore, discover, become and then, share the journey along the way that others might find a meaningful path for themselves.
Been there. Done that. Bought the t-shirt. Moving on…..
Fast forward to this moment, and my life has changed. I believe that because of what I have discovered; because of who I have become, I am now both willing and able to let go. In that letting go, I choose to fully embrace this moment as well as what lies ahead.
In the last 24 hours, I have had the great privilege of finding myself in the midst of (quite likely) the most compelling, provocative and life-altering explorations with the truly courageous. Daring to put voice to the deepest and darkest doubts; daring to uncover and reveal what has seemed to be a deep, dark pit of vulnerability, uncertainty, trust and distrust…. all pieces in a new puzzle of potential revealing itself as we went along. Today, I and others now stand in a different place.
Here, in its greatest simplicity, is what we have discovered.
Focus on living a life that brings you joy; and at every opportunity, make a difference.
Say. Ask. Declare. Decline. Point. Reveal. Request. Without apology; without hesitation and, as required, in spite of the fear.
Live out loud, in the presence of others, allowing your choices to speak for you. No words required.
It took us a while to get there and yet, once we arrived, it all seemed so evident.
Without the joy, we are unwilling and unable to engage. We become depleted; pulled into a sink-hole of dread and fatigue; often succumbing to a sense of hopelessness, overwhelm and grief at the loss of what was and what might be. Without joy, it can be exhausting, on all levels, to be on this planet as Gaia begins to awaken her own defences and we struggle to break free of the concrete of denial that this is not so.
Without making a difference, we must blind ourselves to a more expansive truth that surrounds us and penetrates our sheltered ‘reality’. We begin to fracture… inside, where we live… as we seek to insulate ourselves from the harsh decline of the very world that sustains our bio-life. We are organic and require healthy, self-sustaining organic systems to ensure the survival of our own.
At one point in our conversation, a story was told of seeing Orcas at play while, in the background, a huge sea-going vessel was pulling away from loading the remnants of the destruction of a mountain, to be shipped to some far-off place on the other side of the world. The challenge for us, is: both are true. Both are real. And both are the essential elements of the world in which we live.
To be whole, we must embrace both. To be unique, we must be willing to allow the full measure of the inner truth we carry – the joy and the rage and the grief and the fear – to be embraced. And to be essential to our world, we must be willing to allow the body to stabilize and then, put voice and choice to reflect who we have become as a result of that moment of evolution.
My life – like yours – is a constantly evolving series of inter-connected moments. What will shape my world… my ‘reality’…. is the degree to which I am willing to fully embrace and own each moment as it offers up its bounty to ensure I, in turn, offer up mine in the creation of my world.
My gratitude and deepest RIG to Deb Ozarko and Deb Gleason. Without their courage – to live out loud in the presence of others – I would not have come to this peaceful place inside while, at the same time, embracing all that seems to be in such decay, outside. And the truth of it? The answer is always YES!
Breathing is good….
Tomorrow will be my Mom’s 91st birthday. Inside the strong, straight body that moves her through my world, her mind continues to fade into a world that only she can navigate. As I prepare to make the drive to spend time with her, I am grateful that she is happy, healthy and at peace with her reality.
Today, as a result of conversations with another daughter fully engaged with her mother in their own dance, I shared some thoughts that have taken up residence in my mind. I share them with you, in the event that they might bring some meaning into your day.
I can think of no more sacred bond than that of a woman, born from passage from and through another woman. Is there any greater intimacy?
At this particular time in my own evolution, I am reminded of this sacred bond every single day…. myriad times… as I know the impending departure of my own mother. It has become very clear to me that she and I have always been much more Sacred Sisters… taking turns, over aeons, birthing and being birthed by each other. Journeys and discoveries, held together by that unbreakable bond. It is with a heavy heart that I know this passage will come to end, sooner rather than later.
My mother and I had shared that upon her passing, I would go to Kona; both of us knowing that for me, that is Home. Lately, I find myself hearing the call to be there… although I have not heard it so, since 2006. It tells me that the time is coming…..
I have just spent time with a very dear friend and her daughter. Although not my story to tell, suffice to say that the power of truth as living expression of shared Being, profoundly changes lives. I got to bear witness to her daughter’s great commitment to herSelf; and to the expansion that was made possible, through that, for my friend. Mother authentic, Daughter healed…. in so very, many ways. The reverse is equally true.
I am amazed at your deep commitment to yourSelf. I know the courage it takes. And once embraced, there is no going back. Now, your mother has the opportunity to reclaim herSelf. That is all we can ever do.
“It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.” (Aristotle)
From one day to the next, we are pressed into considering so many diverging and often conflicting thoughts. For most of us, what we have been taught to do is to shut out that which neither reflects what we already know nor builds incrementally on existing knowledge. Both of these, as possibilities, create an easy path or (at least) a reduction of the threat level associated with destabilizing a ’truth’ that has become all too familiar to us. As adults, we invest a great deal of our Life-force in maintaining our commitment to our long-standing, carefully selected and firmly entrenched illusions. We will go to great lengths to avoid or, preferably, completely eliminate the great discomfort that rises up when faced with an invitation to consider that which lives outside the box of our long-practised, collectively enforced ’truth’.
Far from the moment of our current thinking, we struggle with the notion of entertaining a thought that might/that could contaminate the thoughts we have already so carefully cultivated, leaving us without a firm conclusion and direct path to an easily defined and pre-determined outcome. And yet, great freedom lies in the realization that considering something…. daring to explore and wander around in an alternate, likely deemed alien and foreign, ’truth’ or ‘reality’…. need not necessarily mean that we embrace it and make it our own. However, we will never know the fullness of our own capacity to create if we don’t first allow the possibility and invite into our lives, the chaos of mind and body that may well accompany stepping into an idea that does not lend itself to be neatly filed in one of the folders of our current, reliable habits of mind.
As I move through my 66th year, I am more awake and present to my world than I have ever been. As much as I know the power of the WEL-Systems® body of knowledge and what it offers as a way of ‘being’, I am now also coming to know with even greater clarity why it matters; why it can and will become an essential conduit for those who are seeking to live a very different reality.
As I live in the great unknown of choosing to let go of who I have been for the last 30 years of my life, I have become more aware…. more mindful… more awake to…. a much larger context within which all that I have created to date, fits – in deeply meaningful ways – into what I am now discovering.
There are so many threads in this emerging tapestry and my temptation is to attempt to touch on all of them in this one moment. As strong as the pull is for me to do so, I know there is no power in that. I would likely feel better for having done so – like expelling a large gas bubble that hampers digestion and ensures discomfort in its lingering – and I also know: it would not make sense to anyone but me. To avoid the challenges that come with gorging, I am choosing to nibble on these thoughts and allow myself to be led by them… like an easy stroll that follows the pathway through a luscious garden after a spring rain. It will take longer… and the very process, itself, will feed my soul.
There will be many threads…. each, one of the brilliantly woven elements of a tapestry of living that no longer brings Life into our day-to-day existence. Although we tend to see them separately and outside the tapestry – our eyes drawn to the characteristics and dimensions of the thread, itself – in doing so, each enticing and shiny thread offers up a distraction that prevents us from seeing differently; from seeing the interconnectivity, that we might notice the tapestry.
Before even attempting to embrace the possibility of the tapestry, I/we must first embrace the process of the inclusive ‘or’. This is a way of looking at the world (and at ourselves, as an aspect of and expression of and in that world), that allows us to expand the Space of our contemplation to notice what else, rather than collapse that Space to eliminate all the other ‘else’s’ in an attempt to quiet our troubled thoughts.
“The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.” (F. Scott Fitzgerald)
Most of us have been taught to live in the exclusive ‘or’. It sounds something like this: “I can do this or I can do that…. but I can’t do both.” In that exclusive ‘or’, we might recognize more than one possibility but limit ourselves to the selection of only one, at the cost of exclusion of that other/others. From the enticing box of chocolates, only one will do.
In the world of the inclusive ‘or’ , it sounds something like this: “I can do this or I can do that…. and they are only two of the possibilities that I can entertain.” In that inclusive ‘or’, we recognize that more than one possibility presents and that to embrace one does not eliminate the other(s). We can engage one; change our minds and engage another; or engage aspects of more than one, at a time. We am bound only by our courage, our imagination and our willingness to test our own self-imposed limitations. From this box of chocolates, any and all are fair game!
I choose to live in the inclusive ‘or’. Doing so does not narrow but widens the path, ensuring far more distractions along the way that will, no doubt, become aspects of my own discovery and evolution, as I go. Living in the inclusive ‘or’ can get complicated and messy. It can produce stress that comes from the constant distraction of yet another possibility. And yet, in this great array of possibility comes the recognition of other than that which I already know; if not in the content then at least, in the interconnectivity of their many and diverging arrangements. What I am coming to know from living in the inclusive ‘or’ is that, depending on where I stand, the answer to everything, is yes. All meaning really is context dependent. How do I create meaningful context into which I might manifest my life?
For most of us, our cultural conditioning does not encourage comfort in chaos; does not encourage a sense of safety in the unknown, unanswered explorations – those that seem to be without boundaries or constraints; the ones that break the rules and challenge the status quo. For most of us, comfort demands the need to know; the need to move quickly to closure to ensure minimal disruption to an existing status quo. These have been defined as the hallmarks of a fine mind, a disciplined spirit and a valued – and valuable – contributor to society.
In the exclusive ‘or’ lie the unrelenting hope and noble intentions of quick solutions, presented in a neat and tidy package, with minimal blood on the floor. In the domain of the inclusive ‘or’ live the conflicts and tensions that come from wondering and wandering; from lingering in not knowing and making no effort to bring closure; from daring to see value in the unanswered questions and the willingness to drift around in them. It is in the inclusive ‘or’ that we give ourselves permission to leave the box and discover what we’re made of.
Space. Movement. Flow.
If we want other than … more than!….what we currently have, we must become adept at living in the inclusive ‘or’.
We must discover, within ourselves, our willingness and ability to entertain the outrageous, consider the bizarre and refrain from conclusions…. despite the great pressures that promise approval and reward at the moment of our surrender.
We must relax into listening more than talking. Wondering more than knowing. Asking more than telling. And daring more than cowering in the status quo.
Perhaps our greatest challenge in choosing to live in the inclusive ‘or’ lies in this simple fact: in order to be able to move through the day, we will need to rely on our own internal cues…. our inner guidance system… rather than seeking someone/something outside of us to point the way. We are our own way; and coming to trust that will awaken every fear and dread that has dogged us through this lifetime. The good news? We will, finally, find our way Home.
The world that will belong to our grandchildren must become big enough to make room for their growth and evolution! It must be flexible enough… open and expansive enough… to allow them to discover themselves! That future must offer up not just new ’stuff’ (what we think about) but new and far more inclusive and expansive processes (how we think about what we think about) by which and through which the choices for living are considered, tried, tested and reinvented.
In this world of inclusive ‘or’, there are no absolutes… and perhaps, that is our greatest, collective challenge: to discover more of what lies within, that we might free ourselves from believing that what lies without, must lead… and we must follow. Such unchallenged illusions will take us to our collective demise.
Breathing is good…..
Yesterday, was a really lovely day! In my cozy sanctuary, my Ohana gathered to be in the good company of each other. My always-funny, sometimes-outrageous and ever-loving sons; their wisely-chosen and equally-compelling partners; and long-time, close friends gathered for good food, great conversation and side-splitting stories of long-ago mishaps and adventures!
It was such a joy for me to have that day unfold, both in its preparation and expression, and in the memories that now have been given life. And as is often the case for me, one thought leads to another…. very often, totally, seemingly disconnected and disparate…. and yet, in some way, tethered to each other. I found myself wandering through previous blogposts, looking for what might have been offered in December of a previous year; wondering what aspect of life might have occupied my mind, at that time. What I found was one blogpost from December 27, 2006; and from that post, the following captured my moment:
“We often associate the notion of competence with a combination of knowledge and experience. It may be that cellular competence is what we call wisdom – and wisdom is a process of experience, with experience being the domain of the body. Cellular expression, in flow. Nonetheless, it continues to have the flavor of the past, with competence in some way connected to having X, Y or Z’d and thus knowing that one can X, Y or Z again, with a likely positive outcome.
Cellular confidence is different. There is no knowledge. Nor is there experience. Its essence is not of the past but of what might come to be. Its underlying presupposition is that which might become. Cellular confidence is a state of being that welcomes and embraces the unknown. It is an expression that recognizes that an emerging future unfolds – it is not planned, anticipated or even created. It just arrives, and we get to meet it as it appears. It is in those moments that we each become our own greatest surprise, to ourselves.
Cellular confidence – a willingness to invite and allow. A willingness to let go and trust that no matter how bizarre it may seem in the moment (usually when compared to history or expectations), its presence is pure genius and exactly what is required to accelerate my own evolution. Seems to me that I would have to trust the harmless nature of what would flow at least as deeply as I trust my own harmless nature. Perhaps that is the greatest challenge of all.
Who must we know ourselves to be in order to let go and, in doing so, create the Space for what might become? How do we accelerate access to (willingness) and capacity for (ability) cellular confidence? And what might our world become in the moment of our having succeeded?”
It is a reminder to me that it is all, already, within. There is no seeking required; no effort demanded; no struggle that must, first, be the proof of my/our worthiness – there is only the willingness and ability to trust deeply, unquestionably and with the ruthless and boundless commitment that can only come from the innate truth of already ‘being’ that which we are told we must desperately seek in order to be whole.
With this thought, I send you warmest wishes for whatever and however you celebrate the moment of your own remembering. Whatever you call it; however you define it and defend it, the living godforce in me bows in acknowledgement of the living godforce in you… and wishes you many deep belly laughs and heartwarming interconnections as you shape the reality of your existence.
Go forward into 2016, trusting that you already know… and ARE… that which has for too long, been forgotten and abandoned. It is never too late to reclaim your Self.
Breathing is good….
The Women Gathering retreat – at the recent Fairmont Chateau Montebello in November – has left me increasingly curious about my/your/our future. (Stay tuned: Blog post to come re the discovery of a ‘Free Fall’ exploration and its impact.) Much has stayed with me from that experience, not the least of which is the thought, below:
We are rapidly approaching the sharp edge that separates our greatest despair and our greatest hope. We will soon have no option other than to choose which side of the blade we ride into our shared future.
The seeming free-fall of our species has gone beyond the challenge of our foolish choices ; our self-absorbed and mindless grabbing for the ever increasing ‘more’ on the outside, at the cost of the corresponding ever-decreasing connection to the inside…as we collapse into that which will become the buffet for another. Without that inner link, we are adrift in a sea of directionless and increasingly lifeless iniquities and become the mindless mortar between the bricks of another’s reality.
That we individuate; that we come to know ‘unique’ demands that we awaken – and stay awake! – to an internal reference for possibility. It’s not always easy; it’s not always fun; and it is essential to the collaborative creation of a meaningful world. The current collaboration from a deep coma of external referencing is killing us.
Through those decades of my own evolution, as well as more than 25 years of working with others, I hold this to be the most challenging and difficult part of this exploration, around our illusions:
With ownership, we take hold of mindful and meaningful creation.
Without ownership, we cannot let go of the frantic hope that some ‘other’ will create it for us.
Our collective world – our ‘reality’ – is already in the full collapse of what has, for centuries, seemed stable and predictable; with the expectation that it would always be so. Beyond the density and intensity of this change, we are now faced with the speed at which it is occurring and the clear and inevitable acceleration that looms. As we begin to tune in to the turmoil outside, its vibration moves deeper into the very tissue of our body. Given that we are Quantum Biological Humans™ (refer to iBook ‘New Paradigm – New World! ~ Awakening the Quantum Biological Human™‘ ), the body is both the instrument of calibration of an external reality as well as the display mechanism of our internal reality. At the exact same moment that the body is calibrating both inside and outside, it is also the living membrane between an existing reality and the source from which a different reality can flow. Like the point of bifurcation where reality flows in and out at the precise same moment, the body holds the potential to display and live both the ’now’ and the possibility. We are indeed, remarkable Beings!
To take ownership of this, clears a path for us to become the mindful, awake and aware Creators of our living reality! In that ownership lies the gateway of awakening to our courage and curiosity; to unlimited access to both the willingness and the ability to let go of one reality and to take hold of another; and to the deep recognition that our reality already reflects the truth of who we have chosen to become. In that same ownership lives the decreasingly daunting moment of our own fear, as we rise to the full measure of our unique Self as Creator of it all.
Without that ownership – of what is and of what might become – we continue to live out the historic conditioning to perceive ourselves as the victims of the creations of others. In that, there is no power… no future… and no Life.
Given the Androgynous Baby™ and Nested Living Systems™ process experiences (see eBook ‘Fully Alive: Awakening Health, Humor, Compassion and Truth‘) that we all share, it is not surprising that the very thought of ownership of our capacity to create is a perturbing one. It is also a frightening one since these two processes, combined – as the forces that shape culture – have ensured that we grow up in the long, deep shadow of our inculcated ineptitude, incompetence and impotence. These forces are intergenerational, having long been integrated into the very fabric of what we call ‘reality’, leading us to believe that we are helpless in the face of an overwhelming truth: we are small, we are weak and we are irrelevant to making a difference – either for ourselves, our families, our communities and our world. This, is simply a lie.
What makes it so difficult for us to take ownership of a different truth; of an emerging ‘reality’ that presents with massive and weighty evidence? What is it that insists we cower in the dark corners of our own innate truth, Self-silencing and pulling back rather than claiming voice and stepping out, into the full force of our own convictions, to act rather than react? What is it that keeps us blind, at our own hand, to our potential; and deaf, as our own doing, to hearing the increasingly louder call from within to LIVE!
In the face of habituated powerlessness, with its deep roots in the relentless pursuit of avoiding shame and humiliation at the hands of others, we seek to be seen to be in compliance, in agreement and harmless to the status quo. We become our own, greatest keeper… having long ago learned to Self-silence and pull back in our effort to stay safe and avoid the mockery that comes with daring to defy a collective ’truth’.
We’ve all done it. Now, when we look around at our world, we see the evidence of its great success. We have done that – and we have done it to ourselves.
What might an alternative be? What will it take for us to be able to have our future become more meaningful than our past? What do we need to reclaim in order to walk away from incessant slumber or surrender, and pave the way for a different tomorrow?
Ownership! The deep and unique reclamation of ‘Mine!’. The reclamation of “My world, my reality, my creation!” The declaration of the innate intelligence of the I AM that I am, that declares: ‘I can…. I will… and I CHOOSE!”
Ownership comes first, quickly followed by creation from our own authentic expression. Creation sourced from carving out a reality from an awakened choice; from a meaningful present that frees us into an expression of Being that has surrendered the search and reclaimed the discovery. In our desperation to avoid the pain of isolation and rejection; in the long-habituated and knee-jerk reaction to believing that to be unseen and unheard is to be unharmed, we are coming to realize that THAT is the greatest of all illusions! To think, to believe and to trust that silencing our Self is the intelligent path to follow, is rapidly losing ground and, as a result, its death grip on our future.
When our illusions collapse, on the other side of the bifurcation can emerge the Awakened Creator. From the great turmoil of the churning collapse can come a greater sense of our own ability to BE and to CHOOSE and to DECLARE what is both mindful and meaningful in our unique expression of a shared reality. In the aspect of BE’ing and CHOOSE’ing, we can find ourselves. In the aspect of DECLARE’ing, we can find each other.
Only in ownership can we take a stand that is a reflection of the truth of who we are. Without that link to a greater Self, within, our taking a stand is nothing more than being part of the pack. Our future will not be served by pack thinking – and it will be served by Unique, Whole and Authentic thinkers, standing together.
Waking up is not enough. Staying awake is what will allow us to come Home to a shared reality that sustains Life. The simple truth of that is that it will take all of us, being all of who each of us, is; out loud and in the presence of each other.
In more than 40 years of a commitment to my own ongoing evolution, I have never said it would be easy. And I have always said, it would be worth it! For ourselves, for each other and perhaps most importantly, for all of our children, here and yet to come.
We can talk about it… ponder it… even anticipate it…. but once we’re in it, our bodies pack a powerful punch in awakening us to a new reality. When our illusions collapse, beyond the internal voices that seek to capture our attention, the effect is most potent in its visceral cues as life as we’ve known it, begins to fracture and separate; causing the body to tighten, torque and pull into itself.
We begin to recognize that profoundly uncomfortable – and often terrifying! – moment when we realize that we are being pulled out of one world view without having another firmly in place. We watch with breath held tight as that emptiness opens up in front of us, prying loose our grip on what has felt so real, and sucking us into the free-fall of no-thing upon which to rely.
Our minds and bodies are flooded with the effects of our sense of ‘knowing’ rapidly disintegrating, leaving us with an internal line of enquiry moving at the speed of a cascading curtain of light, leaping from one cell to the next; spreading the powerful message through the body of, ‘Alert! Alert! Danger ahead!’.
Bifurcation looms! That seemingly endless moment when sound stops; we separate from the physical sensation of our own body; and our sense of the perpetual swirl of that disconnect lifts us into the Great Unknown. Bifurcation is Ground Zero…. that place of the all-or-nothing moment within which we have the freedom to become any and all things… if we dare.
In that nano-second of our existence, we still get to choose: “Do I stop this process; do I hold my breath, pull back, move away, avoid…. or do I create the space that becomes the permission for it all to simply be in that free-fall; to be an invitation to a greater expression of my Self?” Yes, it takes courage to do that – but perhaps more than that, it takes a curiosity that is greater than our fear.
As we ponder that inevitable transition from certainty to possibility, consider the following framework as the scaffolding that can make the trek more manageable:
* Stop! Take a breath….. relax your body…. and allow your Self to be fully present in the moment.
Long ago, my son was walking me through an emergency kit that he had prepared for me. Fully expecting a collection of very useful and practical tools, I found myself laughing out loud as my first discovery was two mini chocolate bars on the very top! His message to me? “The first thing you do is stop…. take a breath…. and calm yourself. Taking action in a state of panic will not serve you in a challenging time.” How did I get so lucky to have such wise children?
* Create Space to consider, reconsider, redefine, and redesign.
Any change requires Space, Movement and Flow (see eBook ‘Fully Alive: Awakening Health, Humor, Compassion and Truth’ ). Without first creating the Space, we are limiting ourselves to wandering around in an existing context that is already full of habits of mind and body. Creating Space… making room to wander and wonder…. enhances our willingness and ability to make room for something that is not already there. In that process, possibility and potential are given the requisite time, consideration and patience that the unknown often requires in order for it to settle into being known.
* In that Space, entertain new people, new thoughts, new conversations and new choices before seeking closure with new decisions.
Trust that the choice is always yours to make. Know that no one can make you do anything you do not want to do. Sit back and listen; allow the insights and experiences of others to create new spaces between your certainty and your surrender. In that seemingly empty Space, magic can unfold!
* Pay attention to how to engage this unfolding Great Adventure!
As you choose to enter in an exploration of how else you might choose to live your life, today, consider: What is your internal process for rediscovery? How willing and able are you to allow yourself to do nothing, while you make room for all-things to enter into your awareness? How strong is your inner dialogue of judgement – of yourself, of others and of your determination to be right about what you already know? Where are your strengths and your vulnerabilities as you seek to grow, evolve, expand and become more in the enquiry into your own life? What about you can you trust; and what stirs up the fear inside, where you live, about your freedom to choose?
* Focus on the questions and let go of the need for answers!
Give yourself the freedom to not know. Allow one day to follow another, devoid of the certainty that we have long been told we must have in order to be effective and successful in the living of our lives. As our realities shift – whether personal, familial, community or global – we must find within ourselves new ways and intentions to give shape to how we assess and redefine our process of choice.
* Extend the pause… until it feels right to do otherwise
Take your time. Set your own schedule. Do not allow yourself to be bullied into an outcome that you are not ready to create. Our histories tend to lead us to pack thinking, having taught us to trust that if others are doing it, it must be the ‘right’ thing to do. In today’s world, you can’t trust that – and I’m not sure we ever really could. We are faced with the sometimes-daunting spectre of taking responsibility for our own individual and unique personal, familial and community needs. Collectively, these will change the world!
In today’s world, it’s very difficult to escape the effects of stress. I am noticing that there is an undertone…. like white noise or an almost imperceptible hum… that reverberates through the body. We know deeply and intensely. We know that things are not as they once were. We know that something is happening, on a scale and at a pace that points to no precedent that we might conveniently repeat. At this time in our individual and collective history, we are being called to reclaim aspects of ourselves that have long been dormant; that have been submerged in a sea of pack thinking and collective agreement, without mindful consideration. As we move into a more sustainable future, we need to discover that we are very willing and able to live, otherwise.
The key is to recognize and respect the extended moment of bifurcation… the space within which the actual collapse is a living thing. In that moment… which could feel like a breath or a series of lifetimes…. there is noting to do but let go…. and allow the space to empty/fill at the same time. As one moves out, another moves in – and we become, anew.
Stay present. Stay awake. Stay open… and allow what might be to become a thread in the tapestry of your ‘reality’.
As our illusions collapse, we are either lifted up to a higher-order expression of our own Being… or pulled back into an already-proven reality that we have no desire to call our own. We get to choose – and the power is in the process we embrace.
I grew up in the post-war, baby-booming ‘golden days’ of cookie-cutter housing projects, rayon blouses, muscle cars and the infinite miracle of plastic. That war-to-end-all-wars was over and it was time to build; to create and invent; to design high-consumption, mass-expression lives. The feeding frenzy went on for decades… imbedding in two generations our first illusion: that regardless of consequence, the acquisition of ’stuff’ is a reliable measure to reflect back to us how valuable, meaningful and effective we are in the living of our lives.
Things have changed. Wars aside (and there are now too many to count), we are more than challenged by climate change, GMO’s, transhumanism, geoengineering and pharmaceuticals; in addition to economic challenges, black budgets, breakaway civilization, secret space program… and on and on it goes. Try as we might, it is becoming overwhelmingly evident that what has been no longer is; and what might be seems to be driven by someone else! Long have we operated from believing that should problems seem overwhelming, we can simply ignore them and trust that tomorrow – tomorrow’s technology, tomorrow’s innovators, etc. – would make it all better. It is becoming clear: we are running out of tomorrows. Having mortgaged the future of generations to come, we are pulled up short by the realization that something is happening… and it is speeding up.
Nonetheless, our cultural myths…. our historical fairy tales of ‘happily ever after’ and ‘anything’s possible’… continue to tug at our memories and our determination to hold on to boundless hopefulness and expectation. Entitlement leads as we stand impatiently in line, waiting for someone/something else to get on with it and make it all work, again. At the same time, we’re bombarded with television images of violence and destruction, juxtapositioned with yet another sit-com that numbs our brains and soothes our tattered nerves. Indeed, we’re not in Kansas anymore, Toto!
Illusions are collapsing, despite our best and most determined efforts to hold on to them; to patch and revive them; and to pretend we don’t know what’s going on . It leaves me wondering: When our illusions collapse, do they make a sound?
Our illusions are deeply personal and intimate creations sourced by culture and held steady by the power of our own minds. When these illusions begin to collapse, their sounds are equally deeply personal and intimate…. and can only be heard inside ourselves, where we live and where these illusions have taken root. The smallest of evidences that our illusions are at risk will immediately call upon that voice inside our head to begin its reassurances: “It’s ok! You’re overreacting; you’ve misunderstood the signals/the message.” Don’t worry – you’ll figure it out!”… and on and on it goes in the familiar and repetitive effort to stay the course and trust the myth.
But these sounds inside ourselves, are rapidly changing. Now overwhelmed by the density, intensity and repetition of so many collapses, there are simply too many tattered ends to hold on to; too many frantic calls with too few internal resources to tend to them all. We can no longer manage…. and we finally allow ourselves the opportunity to bear witness to their collapse. As we do, we are uneasy… unsure…. often lost in the chaos of the moment of bifurcation. In a great state of inner turmoil, we struggle to regain our footing; we seek to find a familiar, comfortable place to steady ourselves, as we haltingly dare to turn in to a different experience of ourselves in this increasingly unfamiliar terrain of our emerging reality.
We go on the hunt for that familiar voice, inside… where we live… that will make it all manageable. But this time, the reassuring voice is pitched just a little too high…. shrill and strained in its struggle to lend its voice to the message… lingering just a little too long in the effort to talk ourselves into believing the story for one more day.
The script of the voice inside our head is changing…. moving from repetitive platitudes into subtle-yet-blaring inner enquiries that reflect our wondering: Will we be ok? Will the people we care about be ok? Does anyone know where we’re going? Is anyone in charge????
As our state of daily fatigue and overall exhaustion at the effort grows, we find ourselves in tears at the smallest act of human kindness; in the tiniest of moments of grace and generosity; and in witness of the flow of the great beauty that lives within each of us, awakening to itself and evoking the same in another.
We begin to consider the unthinkable. We begin to tune in, instead of tuning out.
When our illusions begin to collapse, they do indeed, make a sound. That sound comes to us from within; vibrating the cells of our being as a warning that life, as we have shaped it, is no longer sustainable. The conversation we’re having with ourself is in a frantic press for us to just hold on as we recognize our desperate fear of letting go. It’s the sound of an internal diagloue that lends itself to the discovery of new possibility if we’re wiling to stay in THAT conversation with ourselves…. and allow the collapse to take place. What we hear is a new conversation, inside ourselves. Like falling dominoes, the collapse of each illusion pulls up within us the invitation for a different line of enquiry… each more imperative than the last; each a more distressing call to a deeper part within ourselves to explore whether we can get through this…. or not.
The sound of our illusions collapsing is the invitation to each of us to take response-ability for our own, unique and essential life; the clarion call for us to entertain new lines of enquiry within ourselves and dare to consider: “Where is the Great Intelligence in this collapse? Where are the opportunities? How else might I choose to live MY life, today?”
The illusions of our lives and our loves are a by-product of the expectations that sit at the very core of habituated and deeply entrenched and repetitive myths. And myths, like smoke, cannot sustain themselves in the great turmoil of the winds of change.
I don’t have your answers – and you don’t have mine. Far more essential to our future, at this time in our lives, is not the closure that comes with an answer but the recognition of the imperative as it lives in our ability to create, direct and engage a new line of enquiry. We are long overdue for a willingness and ability to see what we see, hear what we hear and know what we know. For this, there is no substitute.
“The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off…..” (Gloria Steinem)
Be mindful of the company you keep. My world – and yours – is shaped by the conversations that we have and the people with whom we choose to have them. For my world to expand, I must first expand my conversations.
I don’t know about you but I have long tired of the blah blah blah… as we continue on, deep in our denial and mindless march to the edge of the cliff; waiting for someone – anyone! – to guide us out of and past the paralysis of our self-inflicted and intergenerational inability to act on our own behalf; on the truth of our own experience. We keep searching for someone – anyone! – who will save us from ourselves.
Deep inside, there is an inalienable truth that is waiting to be released; to be heard and more importantly, to be acted upon. For me, that truth feels so important to claim, decipher and share and yet, as adept as I usually am at doing just that in a way that can quickly and easily be related to by others, this time I find myself lost in a heavy silence. Perhaps it is due to what I hold as the critical nature of this particular truth; the great sense of urgency that I know it carries; and the increasing tension in my body that is a reflection of the increasingly sprawling tension that I witness in the world around me. Surely, I am not the only one who knows the turmoil of this nameless truth!
There is no denying: we are a species in deep and imminent trouble. No amount of positive thinking, inspired trusting or bottomless hoping will change the course we’re on! WE are our own greatest hope. Only WE are The Ones, in our own lives, who can awaken to, reclaim and engage from a new perspective that will allow us to choose differently and forge a new reality. WE are The Ones now marked by the intention and stained with the capacity to change the conversation and create a very different world.
We are the only ones who will and can make that happen…. and yet, we flounder. We inch our way to significant and global devastation while we seek to discuss, consider, wonder, explore, ponder, discover, journey, converse, philosophize, hypothesize, and synthesize, etc…. waiting…. waiting…. fiddling away while Rome burns to the ground around us. Were we the only victims of our cavalier, mindless and numbed-out approach to living, it would be bad enough. But we’re not – and we’re taking with us the innocent life around us, as well as the as-yet unborn possibility of countless generations to come.
In my recognition of the immense task at hand; in my acceptance of seeing what I see, hearing what I hear and knowing what I know…. I stare into the abyss and ask myself: Is this it??? Is staring into it and fearing it and seeking to look away from it, enough? And from deep in my belly comes the undeniable truth.
The word ‘radical’ comes to mind. Since it will not go away, I looked it up in the dictionary. It speaks to notions of fundamental or going to the root to create ‘a radical difference’. Notions of thoroughgoing or extreme, especially with regard to change from an accepted or traditional form; an expression favouring drastic political, economic or social reforms; resulting in forming a (new) basis or foundation. And ultimately, ‘radical’ exists inherently in a thing or person, as an expression of character.
‘Radical’ is an adjective; a word used to describe or modify, to refine, to add depth or layers to a noun; a word that speaks to the essence of that which it is describing. In this case, ‘radical’ relates to notions of mind, of ideas, of states. It offers insight into an inner world as seen by an outer one. It reflects the inherent quality of ‘radical’ to effect, transform and have impact, simply as a result of that claim of state.
For many, the word ‘radical’ also carries the burden of a judgement of ‘unwelcomed‘ – particularly when referring to women. In the global, fundamental, traditional cultural conditioning of women, ‘radical’ is not a word that is typically associated with being female. The conditioning of women streams from life-long mantras of ‘Be reasonable’, ‘One step at a time’, Slow down’, “Know your place!’, ‘How dare you!’, ‘Don’t overreact’, etc. One heaping shovelful piled on top of the next! Such daily, relentless and life-long droning of sound, far too often reinforced by the force of another’s hand, is the significant and profound opposite to the notion of ‘radical’. From that, you can imagine – or already know intimately – the internal cues that reveal the degree to which struggle and angst are alive and well, tearing at the body in some desperate final act of self-silencing.
The ‘original sin of being born female’ (as Ann Wilson-Schaef would have said) drapes us in our hereditary cape of essential shame and unworthyness… and so, we shuffle along from one day to the next, waiting for permission to know that which is already and intuitively our truth; or to find someone else who will lead the way. In that life-sucking, soul-crunching state of being – even should that forever-longed-for permission come – we remain unable to move. We are crippled by our now self-imposed inability to act; tethered to the life-long inertia that leaves us limp and lifeless in our lackluster lives… and in our decaying world.
Enough! Enough with the weeny, small, incremental, take-your-time-you-have-forever approach to creating change in our lives! Enough with the small-willed and meager expectations of believing that we are not deserving of the fundamental, essential right to LIVE as we see fit; that is part of the essential, blood-flowing and organic nature of our very being! And enough with the waiting and the hoping; with the painful efforts to hold ourselves back, keep ourselves small and bind ourselves in those moments when we notice that someone else has forgotten to do it to us and so, we do it to ourselves.
Women matter. Women count. What women think…and imagine… and envision… matters and counts. And more importantly, what women do, changes the world.
In a recent speech given by Helen Caldicott (a truly remarkable and courageous woman!), she speaks of her belief that throughout history, meaningful social change – the change that allows LIFE to continue and grow – has come from women. Women have been The Ones to lead… to act… to propel others to action… and once completed, have been written out of the story and faded into their nondescript background once again, hoping the next crisis would not call. I believe this is true. So much of what is occurring in the world today – at the hands of the greedy, gluttonous, insatiable, violent, power hungry men who run the world – has occurred because we, as women, have not been willing or able to rise to the full measure of our own potency and demand: ENOUGH!
We are still the hand that rocks the cradle. THAT is an inalienable, unquestionable, organic truth that cannot be changed. We are the givers of Life at many levels – and it is our birthright to OWN that, in ourselves!
When we birth our children, it is messy. And when we do, we do not seek to hide that or find fault with that or try to remove the impact of that very gooey process of Life, arriving. Why can we not recognize and own that THAT IS how we give birth… how we create… from new human beings, to new ideas and to new ways of being in our world. We are intimately connected to that which we birth. We are profoundly and forever AFFECTED BY that which we birth, unable to divorce ourselves from the very impact of what we create. We are tied to… bound with… our creations, from the moment of their intention until we draw our last breath. Perhaps THAT is a process of creation that has for too long been lost to our species. We have come to think that what we created could be dismissed or ignored or unclaimed; that it could be left to itself and still thrive and sustain LIFE. As we look around the world, we see our bastard creations; creations whose impact have been abandoned to their own demise. Creations crippled and twisted from the absence of any intimate connection to those who bore them, along with their outcomes and impacts. We can no longer do that – our world is dying.
Radical! Women choosing to rise to the much larger occasion of their own intuitive, organic, intimate creations and owning them, now! Women ceasing to take forever to decide… and even longer to design the alternative. Women standing in the moment; welcoming the chaos and the intensity that NOT turning away will bring. Women marking off their time for themselves; to own what lives inside them and what moves them to live differently!
Radical woman! Radical EVE! Radical EVEolution!
It’s time. That time is NOW! That’s where I stand. And I know that as I take that stand, there will be others. There will be more to come.
For now, be the Radical EVE you are born to be! Vote with your feet and your wallet! Find your voice! Dare to ruffle a few feathers!
Look around you. Seek each other out! Life with a posse will invite you to inhale much deeper into your Self; and propel you to exhale your Awakened Presence into a world desperate for your arrival! It will remind you to embrace the moment to call authenticity into your life, knowing that you will be safe. See what you see. Hear what you hear. Know what you know. And ACT meaningfully and daringly, for yourSelf. Being willing and able is the essential formula to manifesting a different life. One without the other leaves us impotent, helpless and yet again, a candidate to be victimized. Choose otherwise, for yourSelf.
Look inside you. Turn into the layers of inner cues that must continue to be ignored in order to remain silent. Look at yourself and to yourSelf, to determine the path of your unique and singular choices. At every turn, choose mindfully. In every enquiry, choose intelligently and not from habit. With every doubt, choose to trust your own inner truth and let the suffocating external references stand silent in their irrelevance.
In the coming months, pay attention to all those moments when you compromise; capitulate; surrender the truth of your own experience. Pay attention to all the times you lie – to yourself and others – in the hopes that the lie will bring you a better life. Nothing powerful ever came from deception – so pick another path!
Pay attention to all the ways you stall… hedge your bets…. hide behind a half-truth or one withheld. Pay attention to how you defer to another; silence your inner truth; abdicate to the so-called ‘better view’ of another – then resent and gripe for months to come.
Pay attention… to all that goes on inside of you: the chats you have with yourself that you dare never say out loud to another; the gripping in the pit of your stomach; the migraine headaches; the joint pain; the vague yet debilitating sense of lifelessness; the avoidance and dodging to ensure that you need not declare yourself and be seen for the truth of who you really are.
Choose wisely who you spend your time with! Your conversations shape your reality. What you allow yourself to talk about, becomes the truth by which you live. Small conversations make for small lives. Look around you and find someone with whom to engage who will make room for the bigger, uncertain, chaotic, life-altering conversations that will make room for YOU to emerge into your own potential! Stop putting it off and visit the Engage WEL-Systems area. There, you’ll find conversations and invitations that will move you beyond your perceived limitations. You have little to lose and much to gain!
Take action on your own behalf! Dare to consider that there is another way. Put down the shield of your indifference born of hopelessness and reach out for the new and unfamiliar; making way for your frozen history to thaw and open you to a future seeded in rediscovered capacity. Care enough to test the waters and discover your intuitive capacity for movement in flow. Search the Directory of Affiliates and reach out to someone! You don’t have to do it all; and you don’t have to do any of it, alone.
Radical! Enough of the teeny weeny thinking… that leads to the teeny weeny steps we take… that leave us with teeny weeny lives. Coming in 2014, Radical EVEolution will come to you; and will invite you to rise to the full measure of your own potential… and choose! Choose now! Choose often! Choose big! And get on with the life of your own design.
Watch for us – for the Radical EVE’s – that will be coming into your lives. You’re going to be invited to stand with us, in your own unique way. You’re going to be asked to find your edge; to let go of your abiding ability to tolerate the intolerable. And you’re going to be asked to take a stand in your own life and be The One to engage that life, meaningfully. Stay tuned – we’ll let you know when we’re coming!
Take the hand that rocks the cradle and put it on the throttle of your own life. Nothing less will do. If you are not willing and able to be The One in your own life, then who will?
Recently, I was in contact with a man who has been my pen-pal for more than ten years. We met during one of the many programs I have attended and for whatever reason, chose to stay in touch through the years. We live on different sides of the world so, although I consider him my friend, I have not seen him in person since that first meeting.
In a recent letter, he shared with me some of the things that were going on in his life. His authentic and open expression caused me to rethink my personal choice to work with women; and trust that there are other women who will make the personal choice to work directly with men.
I share my response (below) that you might ponder for yourself, what is possible for yourself and for the men in your lives, however that connection may exist.
Thanks for sharing that story with me. Somehow, as I read, it all sounds/feels like the archetypical story of the never-ending search for the ‘nirvana’ of connection. I don’t suggest that’s a good thing or a bad thing – just a very familiar thing. Personally? I think the great hunger that we carry is to better know our Selves… better know the truth of who we are, why we’re here, what we stand for; and does it matter if we get out of bed in the morning.
It is both strange and interesting to me that you and I have been in this across-the-pond connection, through email. I have thoroughly welcomed and enjoyed every moment over the (how many?) years. To me, you are not a ‘person’ in the mundane, every-day sort of way, but a ‘presence’. An expression of your sense of adventure; of your discoveries and insights; and of your moments of turmoil and vulnerability. In all of those fractures, there is an underlying wholeness. For whatever reason, it brings me hope. You are evidence to me, that the greater enquiry is alive and well!
I believe that one of the great benefits and advantages that women have is their ease with and enjoyment of each other’s good company. Women may desire men – and they don’t need them when they have each other. As a result, having a man/men in their lives becomes a mindful choice and not a drive to stave off the night. Know what I mean?
In these, my later years (I am, after all, now closer to 90 than I am to 30!), I am profoundly relaxing into engaging, seeking out, recognizing, appreciating and welcoming life as a unique creation, rather than a repetition of old habits. In much of what you share, I witness both. What strikes me as so vital and enlivening is your unstoppable search! No doubt, as you stay in that, you’ll find what you seek.
You know that I stopped working with men in 2006. Not because of anything that I don’t want – but because what I do want was not (seemingly) attainable with them. I have maintained for many years that the evolution that men seek will not be found in a program room, through courses or trainings or certifications… but in the presence of the women who love them and that they love. A few days ago, I got an email from the spouse of one of our clients that gave me hope. He is a changed man – and I’ve done nothing. Susan (his spouse) shared her set of the ‘Sexual, Sensual and Spiritual Beings‘ cd’s with him – and he woke up. Did he wake up because of the CD’s? I don’t know – likely there were things said that profoundly shook him to the core. And in my truth of it, he woke up because in passing the CD’s to him, Susan was saying: “Wake up! ” In that moment, he could hear.
Not quite sure why I am feeling compelled to share all of this with you. And nonetheless, here it is. Personally? I believe that in my life, I have to choose between being the manager of the life I have or the creator of the one I desire. And with that, the world expands.